Touch
by Trapped in a MatchBox
Summary: Just one touch. That's all it takes. Post 3.06 - 3XK.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my very first attempt at writing Castle fanfic. I had sworn to myself I wouldn't get into writing fanfiction again because I know how addicting it is. But after 3XK, I just couldn't NOT write. The story kept bugging me until I sat down and wrote it.**

**Hope you like it. Please let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. Unfortunately.**

**Touch**

Her heart is still pounding painfully in her chest. Even as she watches him sitting by the pool looking lost, her poor heart still can't calm down. She has to remind herself that he is okay. He is alive. She had allowed herself a brief moment of panic when she realized something had happened to Castle and Ryan before her cop mode set in.

But now…

God, now her legs feel like jelly and her heart is racing because she realizes she could have lost him. He could have died tonight. She couldn't even bear the thought of that happening. What would she do without him?

_He's okay._ A voice in her head kept telling her, like a mantra. He is fine and he is sitting right there and his coffee is getting cold. Taking a deep breath, she finally finds the strength to make her legs move toward him. When she reaches him, she sits down on the bench – a little closer than usual, but she needs to reassure herself that he is really there in one piece – and hands him the cup of coffee. He thanks her and they stay silent for a beat.

She finally speaks what has been eating her alive since she had found him alive and well. Not that she isn't grateful and incredibly relieved and happy that he survived, but why had Jerry let him live?

Castle answers her; he always has an answer to everything, after all. This time, though, he is not joking around like she is used to. No, this time his voice breaks her heart because he finally knows what she feels like every time she fails; every time she thinks about her mother's murderer and how she could have done things differently. He knows and she wishes with all her heart that he didn't have to.

This hollow feeling of failure. He is a bestselling novelist; he is not supposed to know what it feels like to let a criminal slip right through his fingers. But he knows and she inevitably blames herself. She is the detective, she should have known better. She should have suspected something was wrong.

But she didn't. Now she can only offer him her solidarity and comfort and let him know he is not alone in this and that it was not his fault. He has to know it wasn't his fault. So she reaches out and touches his knee gently to let him know she is there for him and he can cling onto her for dear life. She knows the feeling all too well and it's good to have someone to hang onto. He surprises her when his hand covers hers and he acknowledges her feeble attempt at comfort.

They are not used to this. This intimacy, touching, invading each other's personal space. This is all new. At least when it comes from her; he has always done it, but she always got the feeling it was just to get a rise out of her. Now things are different. It feels like they are finally on the same page and yet not on the same page at all.

A few minutes go by silently before she realizes he is still holding her hand and she finds that she is surprisingly comfortable with that. With a sigh, she leans into his side and feels his eyes on her. She can almost feel his smile when she rests her head on his shoulder. She feels so tired all of a sudden.

His hand moves and she thinks he is finally letting her hand go. For the brief moment he lets go of her, she feels the cold seep in and she doesn't like it. But it only lasts a second because he envelops her hand properly in his and laces his fingers through hers. She is surprised, but doesn't say anything, doesn't dare to move her hand for fear he will think she is uncomfortable.

Feeling his lips gently touch the top of her head, she smiles to herself. Ryan and Esposito are just a few feet away behind them and she can hear Ryan insisting that he is fine and that he doesn't need to go to the hospital. Esposito tells him to shut up and get in the ambulance. He calls out to her and she sighs, annoyed that she has to move from her comfortable position. He tells her that he is going to the hospital with Kevin and that she and Castle should go home. She nods and watches the ambulance drive away.

When they are gone, she returns to her previous position on Castle's side and is glad to notice that he is still holding her hand captive, slowly tracing his thumb over it. She feels him take a deep breath before he speaks.

"You want to go get something to eat? Maybe a drink or two?" he asks and she can hear the insecurity in his voice. That's something new. Castle is always confident.

"After a day like today, I think we definitely deserve a drink. Or twenty." She says without moving her head from his shoulder. She feels his chuckle shaking his shoulders slightly and can tell that he is nodding.

"Good. Come on, my treat." He says and tugs on her hand, making her get up with him.

She gets up reluctantly and turns to look at him for the first time since she first touched him. The awkwardness she was expecting doesn't set in and she finds herself smiling somewhat timidly at him. His eyes sparkle with excitement and he finally looks like the Castle she knows. She tugs at his hand and again thinks he is going to let go of her, but his grip is strong. Instead, he gives her hand a light squeeze and smiles at her.

She has no idea what they are doing and she knows it is not right, but she can't find it in herself to break their connection. What happened tonight made her realize she doesn't want to live in a world without him and the mere thought of that terrifies her.

They make it to her car and now the separation is inevitable. He squeezes her hand once more and she squeezes back before finally letting her go. She realizes immediately she doesn't like the feeling. Again, she expects the little voice in her head telling her this is bad and this is wrong and she should think about Josh. But it never comes. The text from Josh from a few minutes ago – before she sat with Castle by the pool – remains unanswered. She feels bad about that, but he knows she works crazy hours. He will understand.

She settles behind the wheel and he sits on the seat next to her, putting on his seatbelt. When he is settled in and she starts the car, a comfortable silence falls around them. She listens to his breathing and is yet again relieved he walked away from tonight unharmed. A few minutes later, she parks in front of a small pub and they get out of the car silently. When she meets him at the entrance, he holds her hand again as if it's something they do every day. Something normal.

She doesn't complain. She realizes she likes the warm feeling it gives her and the butterflies in her stomach feel like they're trying to make a run for it. They sit at a table for two and engage in light conversation. She knows he is trying to take her mind off of tonight and she is trying to do the same for him.

Hours later, they realize they are the only ones left and the waiter is glaring at them, wishing them to leave probably. They laugh, more than a little tipsy and he pays the bill. Again, he holds her hand as they walk into the chilly October night. He suggests they should go grab a cup of coffee so she can drive afterwards. They find a 24 hours café and she leans into his side while he orders. She is tired and a little drunk and her filter of what is right and wrong when it comes to Richard Castle has been slightly off kilter all night.

They drink their coffee in a comfortable silence and walk toward her car. Once again, she settles behind the wheel and he puts on his seatbelt. As she drives in the direction of his loft, she feels his hand gently touching the back of her neck, which gives all the right kinds of warm feelings and butterflies. She smiles, but doesn't say anything.

When she parks in front of his building, his hand leaves her neck for a moment and she feels him touching her chin, making her look at him. She does and is surprised when she finds him so close. He is smiling and she can't help but smile back.

He leans in and gives a feather light kiss on the corner of her mouth. When she pulls away, he is looking at her intently.

"Thank you, Kate." He says and places another kiss on the exact same spot.

She nods and a small smile graces her lips.

"Goodnight, Castle."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow, I am completely overwhelmed by the response to this story. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed and favorited it. It means the world to me. Specially because I was so insecure about posting it, being my first venture into Castle fanfic. It was originally supposed to be just a one-shot, but I was persuaded into writing more. **

**Hope you like it.**

**Disclamer: I do not own Castle. Unfortunately.**

**Touch**

**Chapter 2**

She goes to work the following morning and is not surprised when she doesn't find him there. She had texted him the night before saying that he should take the day off. After all, she would be doing paperwork all day and that was always boring. Still, she can't help but feel a wave of disappointment wash over her. He never listens to her; why would he start now?

Shaking this feeling aside, she sits down and starts filling out forms in order to give a resolution to the Triple Killer case – or as much as a resolution she can give when she lets the murderer escape right from under her nose. She feels stupid and admonishes herself for not seeing that Jerry was their guy. It had been too easy, too simple. Gates had been simply a guy who fit the profile and she hadn't given it a second thought before jumping on the chance to arrest him and end this godforsaken case once and for all.

And it had all backfired and come back to bite her in the ass. Stupid. That's what she was. The fact that Castle got caught in the crossfire, so to speak, just makes her feel even worse. She had never seen him so defeated, so lost like he had been the night before. Sure, she managed to distract him – or at least she thinks she did – and they did a lot more touching than they had done in almost three years of partnership combined. But he now carried a burden of failure that he shouldn't have to shoulder. She was the cop; that was her responsibility.

And there was the fact of their sudden intimacy that she had absolutely no idea how to deal with. Should she just pretend that nothing happened and go back to their normal friendship and banter? She is not sure what she is going to do if he starts to treat her any differently. In fact, she's not sure what she is going to do if he acts like nothing happened.

Because something did happen and she wasn't about to deny it. As tentative and innocent the whole thing had been, she knows they took a giant step last night. Hell, he even kissed her! Well, sort of. But still, he couldn't keep his hands to himself. That has got to mean something, right?

Great, now she sounds like a teenager with her first crush. This is stupid.

Her inner rant comes to a sudden halt when she feels a warm hand touch her back gently. She is startled out of her thoughts and immediately turns around to find a cup of coffee right in front of her. Her first reaction is a smile.

"God, Castle, are you trying to give me a heart attack?" She says, taking the cup from his hand. As much she wants to sound annoyed, she just can't pull it off. She can even hear the smile in her voice, if that's even possible. Not to mention that those butterflies came back with a vengeance. It's like she is 15 all over again. This is getting ridiculous.

He smiles back at her and hands her the accompanying bear claw. "Good morning to you too, Kate." He chuckles and sits down on his chair.

She rolls her eyes, but can't wipe the stupid smile off her face. And what's with him calling her Kate? Since last night, he hasn't called her anything but Kate. Occasionally detective, but 99% of the time it has been Kate. Did he think she wouldn't notice?

"What are you doing here? I thought I told you to take the day off." She tries to sound firm, but her voice comes out softly.

"Yeah, well… Alexis went to school and Mother had rehearsal…" He trails off, his face in his hands, hiding the words he didn't say out loud. _And I didn't want to be alone._

Her heart breaks for him again. He was not supposed to know this feeling of helplessness. Yet, here he is. Instinctively, she touches his hand and he looks up at her. After last night, he looks older and tired. The dark circles under his eyes betray a sleepless night. She misses the excited little boy look he is always sporting.

Forgetting that she is at work and that a lot of curious eyes may or may not be watching their interaction, she takes her hand in his – much like he did with hers by the pool – and leans closer to him.

"It gets better, I promise." She whispers and he nods, giving her hand a light squeeze. "How about we go grab a milkshake?"

"I thought you had paperwork to do." He says, his brow furrowed in confusion and she can't blame him. Normally she would tell him to go find someone else to bother. But not today. Not after what happened. All of it. The triple killer and their tentative new dynamic.

"It'll still be here when I come back." She shrugs and he looks at her surprised.

"Why, Detective Beckett, I believe I have been a bad influence on you." He quips, his eyes dancing with mischief. "I like it."

She rolls her eyes and chuckles. "Shut up, Castle. Let's go before I change my mind."

She tugs at his hand, which was still safely tucked in hers, and pulls him up. He invades her personal space, but she doesn't back away this time. She rolls her eyes one more time, turns around and walks away, reluctantly letting go of his hand. She doesn't look back, knowing he is following her closely behind. Her suspicion is confirmed when she pushes the elevator button and feels his warm hand touching the small of her back.

With a pleased smile, she waits for the elevator.

When she gets home that night, Kate texts Josh saying she isn't feeling all that great and asks if she could take a rain check on dinner. The truth is she is tired and confused and just not at all into getting dressed up for a date. The day had been long and she just wants to take a bath and relax. While she is running her bath, he texts her back; he has to work anyway. Maybe they could do lunch tomorrow. She agrees and leaves her phone near the tub, waiting for his reply. When her phone chimes again, it's not Josh.

_Am I interrupting anything?_ The text message says. She rolls her eyes; only Castle would think to interrupt a date.

_No, I'm not going out anymore._She texts back.

_Something wrong?_ She can't help but smile at his concern.

_Just didn't feel like getting all dressed up to go on a date.__ Weren't you supposed to be on a date as well?_ He had told her earlier he was taking Gina out to this new restaurant.

_Yeah, Gina said she couldn't make it. I didn't feel like going out either to be honest._

She hesitates, not knowing how to respond to that.

_I'm sorry._

_Don't be. Not your fault. Feel like coming over for a movie with me and Alexis?_

She smiles as her conviction to stay home and read a book flies out the window.

_Sure, why not. I'll be there soon._

She rings the doorbell to Castle's loft and waits nervously, smoothing down her dark red, long-sleeved shirt. Alexis opens the door and greets her enthusiastically. She really likes the young girl and hugs her back when Little Castle promptly pulls her into a hug after thanking her for saving her dad. Kate smiles and insists it was her job to do that and that he was her partner; she wouldn't let anything happen to him if she could help it.

Alexis smiles and leads her to the kitchen where Castle is placing an obscene amount of popcorn into two bowls. His face lights up when he sees her and he touches her hip and kisses her cheek lightly. She is surprised, but a pleased smile graces her lips, anyway. She feels someone watching her and looks up to find Alexis looking at them knowingly, her eyes dancing with excitement, much like her father's.

She feels her cheeks heat up and looks away from Little Castle. That's something she is just not ready to face tonight.

"Jeez, Castle, did you invite the entire city to watch a movie with you?" she teased him, stealing some of the popcorn.

"A movie marathon is never complete if there isn't popcorn, detective. You should know that." He tells her seriously, but can't fight a grin when she rolls her eyes. "What do you ladies want to drink?"

"Whatever you're having is fine with me." she says as Alexis asks for a Coke and makes her way into the living room, giant bowl of popcorn in hand. He nods and opens the fridge.

"Beer okay?"

"Sure." She says and takes the other bowl, heading for the living room. Alexis is already sitting on a comfy chair, which gives her no choice but to sit on the couch.

She is watching the opening scene of Avatar when she feels Castle plopping down next to her. He hands her the beer and grabs some popcorn from the bowl on her lap. He is sitting so close, she can feel her entire left side touching his right.

"What are we watching?" he asks, taking a sip of his beer.

"Avatar" Alexis says excited.

"I've never seen it. Is it good?" Kate asks the young girl.

"It's so beautiful. You'll love it, Detective Beckett."

"I already told you to call me Kate, Alexis."

The teenager nods with a smile and turns to the big screen in front of them. Castle props his feet up on the coffee table and Kate involuntarily leans a little more into his side, seeking his warmth. Not even an hour into the movie, Alexis is already dozing off; the long day at school catching up with her. Kate feels herself getting sleepy and leans her head on Castle's shoulder. She feels him putting an arm around her and her head ends up resting on his chest. He kisses the top of her head and the sound of his heartbeat slowly lulls her into sleep.

When she wakes up, it's still dark and she realizes she's lying on the couch. Castle is sleeping next to her, one arm holding her tight against his side. She has no idea how they ended up like this, but she can't complain. She knows it's wrong, but part of her argues that she didn't do anything that would be considered cheating on Josh. Literally sleeping with a friend was okay, right?

She sighs and gives a light kiss to his chest, feeling his arm tightening around her, pulling her closer. Whatever, she can worry about what is appropriate in the morning. Right now, she's too damn comfortable to think about anything but sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: You guys are too kind to me. Again, I was floored with the amount of reviews and alerts. Thank you so much. I had forgotten reviews can be such a drug. I'm addicted to them again. A special thanks to serenitymeimei and AllusionToAnIllusion. Your reviews completely made my day. Really. Thank you so much.**

**Hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle.**

**Touch**

**Chapter 3**

Her first thought after she wakes up is that her pillow feels warmer than normal. She lies there, not willing to move yet from her very comfortable position and suddenly notices that not only her pillow is too warm, but it's also moving. Her mind is still fogged up with sleep and she blinks confused. The sun is rising and she sees various shadows on the wall in front of her.

That's when she realizes she's not in her room.

She blinks again, trying to get rid of the remnants of sleep clouding her brain, and finally finds the strength to move and look at her pillow. Castle is looking right back at her, his hair sticking up in every direction. He looks positively _adorable_, she thinks sleepily, and then realizes the predicament she is in.

Like that night when they first ventured into this new territory, she waits for the awkwardness to set in, but it never does. He is still watching her intently, waiting for her reaction and all she manages to do is blink some more and lose a fight against a yawn. He smiles at her and she feels his hand slowly tracing patterns on the small of her back.

"Hi." She croaks out, rubbing her eyes. Sleep is threatening to take her over again. It must be pretty early still.

"Hi." He replies, pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Sleep well?"

She rests her head on his chest again and nods. "What time is it?" she asks, yawning again.

"A little after six." His hand is back to its previous dance at the small of her back, something she thinks she just might get terribly used to.

"Good, then I can sleep for another half hour." She says and nuzzles her cheek against his chest, not thinking before placing a kiss gently on it.

"I'll gladly be your pillow for another half hour, detective." She looks up at him and he is grinning at her. She rolls her eyes and brushes a strand of his hair away from his forehead.

"I'm glad we got that sorted out." She teases and makes herself comfortable on his chest again. "Will you wake me?" she asks, suddenly realizing that their legs are tangled in an intricate way.

"Sure. If I'm awake, that is." He kisses the top of her head and she keeps expecting the danger bells to start making a riot in her head, but – like the awkwardness – they never come.

She nods and throws an arm around his chest, holding him just a little closer to her. The last thing she thinks before falling asleep is that this should feel wrong, but it doesn't.

The next time she wakes up, Castle is gently touching her cheek and calling her name. She blinks furiously, trying to get her brain to full power before looking up at him. They are still in the same position, but she is lying a little more on top of him than she was before. Her cheeks heat up when she realizes she can basically feel every contour of his body touching hers and he grins at her.

"Morning." His hand still on her cheek. Involuntarily, she leans into it and returns his smile. "I hate to wake you, but it's past 7 already. I kind of fell asleep." He says sheepishly.

"Shit, I'm late." She tries to get up, but he holds her down. "Castle, come on."

"But it's Saturday." Amazing, she thinks, how he can go from sweet and adorable to whiny in two seconds.

"Yes, and I have to go to work." She replies and can't help but relax again, her head finding its resting place on his chest one more time.

A small voice in her mind tells her that this behavior with Castle is getting a little ridiculous and she should stop. Except she just can't find it in herself to do that. She likes this new dynamic and how they touch all the time. She never thought she would actually say this, but she likes being around him. And now that they have actually crossed a boundary, she can't get enough of his touching, however innocent it may be.

She feels him kissing the top of her head again and turns her head to look at him. "You don't have to go in if you want to stay and sleep in. I'll call you if something comes up." She says and this time he lets her get up.

He looks at her while she stretches her arms above her head and she can see something in his eyes she can't quite decipher. There is desire, but that's nothing new. There is something else, though, something that makes him look at her so tenderly, that she has to look away before she does something she might regret later.

"I'll just stop by the precinct later, if that's okay." He tells her, finally sitting up on the couch.

"Sure. Maybe we can do lunch if no bodies drop." She says sitting back on the couch to put on her shoes. He nods at her and rubs his eyes. She thinks he looks like a sleepy little boy and the butterflies start flying around in her stomach again. "I gotta go. Still have to go home and change."

"You sure you don't want any breakfast?" he asks, stopping her by grabbing her hand.

"Maybe some other time when I'm not so late?" she suggests and he gives her a small smile.

"I'll hold you to that." He stands up, again invading her personal space, but she is used to it by now, even welcomes it. She leans up and kisses his cheek.

"I had fun last night, Castle. Thanks for inviting me." He nods, still holding her hand. "Tell Alexis I said bye, okay?" He nods again and she turns to leave.

Before she can get any farther, though, he tugs at her hand and pulls her back. She looks at him confused for a moment, before he leans down and places a kiss on the corner of her mouth.

"I had fun too. We should do it again." He smiles and it's all she can do to not lean up and kiss him properly.

She swallows forcefully and prays that he won't hear her heart slamming against her ribcage.

"Yeah." She manages to smile and gives his hand a light squeeze. "I'll see you in a bit."

* * *

She gets home and after a quick shower, she's ready to leave for work. Her mind is replaying all the events leading up to this morning and she feels almost giddy. Which is wrong and she knows it. After all, she is dating a really nice, handsome surgeon who thought she had spent the night at her apartment alone because she wasn't feeling well. Again she tries to reason that she didn't cheat on him, so to speak, so there's no reason to feel guilty.

She does feel guilty, though. Because if she is completely honest with herself, she knows that her feelings for Castle – that she had buried under lock and key over the summer – came back with full force and it just wasn't fair to Josh. But then again, she had no idea what Castle was thinking because he was still with Gina.

God, when did her life become such a trashy romance novel?

She hates this feeling in her gut telling her she is doing something wrong. And yet, she's powerless to stop it. She knows that the minute Castle touches her again she'll be right back to how they were earlier this morning. This thing is getting out of control, she thinks as settles behind the wheel in her car.

That's when she remembers Josh had suggested lunch today. Shit. She pulls out her phone before starting her car and quickly texts Castle.

_Just remembered I already had lunch plans. Maybe we could have a late breakfast? I still want my morning coffee and bear claw.__-KB_

Not even a minute passes by before her phone chimes. She has barely put her seatbelt on.

_You already miss me, don't you? Admit it. Don't worry, I'll be there soon._

She rolls her eyes and is glad he is not there to see her giggle.

_Shut up. I'll see you soon._

_

* * *

_

"Morning, boys." She greets Esposito and Ryan as she walks into the bullpen.

"Morning, boss." Esposito gives her a small smile and Ryan waves at her.

"Feeling better, Kev?" she asks, stopping by his desk. He had taken a pretty hard blow to the head and is just coming back to work.

"Yeah, great. My head is still a bit sore, though. Hope it'll be a slow day today." He tells her and she nods.

"I'm glad. You scared us." She smiles at him and he nods his appreciation at her concern.

"Good morning, guys." A voice interrupts whatever Ryan was about to say. She turns around and finds Castle holding their coffee and her bear claw.

"That was fast." She says impressed and he grins at her.

"I was already on my way out when I got your text." He hands her a cup of coffee and she takes a sip gratefully. She was already starting to get a caffeine headache.

"Thanks." She smiles and he walks over to her desk to put everything down.

She follows him and sits down to dig in. She can feel Ryan and Esposito's inquisitive looks on her back, but she decides to ignore them. She is in a really good mood and is determined to not let anything ruin it.

* * *

Later that morning, they still don't have any new cases. Castle is busying himself with Twitter on his Iphone while Kate catches up on paperwork. Deciding she has had enough of it, she stands up and makes her way to the break room, to feed her caffeine addiction with a cappuccino.

She is just getting her fresh cup when she hears the door behind her open and close. When she sees Castle looking intently at her, her body starts to tingle and her heart works double time. Trying to distract herself, she asks if he wants a cup as well. He accepts and closes the distance between them.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to come over again tonight." He says, his voice so low it's almost a whisper. His hands rest on the counter on each side of Kate's waist. "We never got to finish the movie before you and Alexis passed out on me."

She swallows hard and licks her lips, trying to clear her head. He is so close she can feel his breath on her skin and the warmth emanating from his body. He is honest to God driving her crazy.

"Sure, I'd love to." She swallows again when she sees his eyes focus on her lips.

"Great." He says before leaning in and placing a kiss on the corner of her mouth again.

He leans back just a couple of inches to look at her, before she closes the distance this time and kisses him properly.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Oh. My. God. You guys are insanely _awesome_! Honestly, I don't even know where to begin to thank the amazing feedback I've been receiving for this story. Really, I was completely _floored_ when I woke up this morning and my inbox was overflowing with reviews and alerts. You have no idea how happy I am that you guys are enjoying this as much as I am. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Because of your response, I'm on a roll and the story is just flowing like magic. Your reviews are my new drug. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. *insert sad face***

**Touch**

**Chapter 4**

The minute his lips touches hers, she realizes she has just crossed a line she should not have crossed. Not while they are both seeing other people. Her second thought is that her mind is drawing a total blank because his arms have just encircled her waist and pulled her closer. She fights a moan threatening to escape and tries with all her might to break the kiss, but finds that just like with the touching, this kissing thing seems to render her powerless.

His tongue dart out and gently traces her bottom lip and she doesn't think twice before granting him access. When their tongues touch and immediately start a battle for domination, her mind truly draws a blank and she can only feel. Her entire body is tingling in all the right places and she just wants to pull him even closer to her. He breaks the kiss for a moment and trails a path with his lips on her jaw. She opens her eyes for a second and realizes they are still in the break room. At the precinct. With a lot of detectives out there who would love to gossip about her love life if they ever caught them like this.

Damn it.

Castle is still kissing her jaw and slowly making his way down to her neck. Her legs feel like jelly and her hold on him is the only thing keeping her on her feet. When he reaches her neck and sucks on her pulse point, her knees get weak and she involuntarily tilts her head to the side, giving him better access.

The warning bells start making a riot in her head at that moment. This is wrong. She can't do this. She wants to, but she can't. It's wrong. But it feels so good and this is what she has been dreaming about for months, isn't it?

No, she can't. Goddamnit, they have the worst timing in the world. Seriously.

"Castle." She tries and is embarrassed when it comes out almost like a moan. God, this is ridiculous. "Castle. Rick, please."

He stops and looks at her, his arms still holding her tightly against him. His lips are swollen and his hair is a mess. Wow, she really did a number on him. She traces his bottom lip with her thumb and he kisses it gently.

"We can't do this." She sighs and sees the disappointment in his eyes. "It's not right." She tries to explain and he nods.

"I know, you're right. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I just got a little carried away." He is fumbling with his words and she can't stop her hand from touching his cheek. He leans into it and places a kiss on her palm.

"I just… I'm not really sure what is happening here, but I can't do this. _We _can't do this. It's not right. Especially here."

"Yeah, I know." he says and she almost feels like crying because she doesn't want this to end. Stupid rational side of her mind. She leans forward and rests her forehead on his shoulder. "Should we just forget about it?" she hears the insecurity in his voice and she would do anything to give the answer she really wants to.

"Maybe. For now at least?" she looks up at him and he gives her a sad smile and pushes her hair behind her ear, his hand lingering on her cheek. She mimics his action from just a minute ago and kisses his palm.

"I guess, yeah." He says and leans down to place one last lingering kiss on her lips. She breaks the kiss this time, before she looses control again.

"We should go back out there." She rests her forehead on his for a moment and sighs. This really sucks. "Come on." She extricates herself from his arms and immediately feels cold. Looking around the room, she is glad to notice the blinds are shut. They were really lucky no one walked in on them.

Before they reach the door, Castle turns her around and pulls her back to him, kissing her again. She allows herself to get lost in it for a few seconds and breaks away.

With a sigh, she touches his chest, keeping him at a distance. "Don't make this harder than it already is, Castle. Please."

"Right, sorry. Couldn't help it." He says and there is mischief in his eyes again. She rolls her eyes at him and tries to fix his now messy hair.

"Come on. I've got work to do." She tries to sound annoyed, but fails.

* * *

At noon she leaves the precinct to meet Josh. She has every intention of gently breaking things off with him, but when they finally meet at a restaurant a couple of blocks away from the hospital he works at, he doesn't look so good. He greets her with a kiss and takes her hand in his as they enter the restaurant.

After they have ordered, she asks him what is wrong, her determination to break up with him getting weaker by the minute. He tells her that he has just lost a patient that he had been treating for over a year and he knows it comes with the territory, but he can't help but feeling down whenever he loses his patients.

Right then, her intentions fly out the window. She can't do this to him. Not today. She knows she will have to eventually. As soon as possible. After all, even if nothing comes out of this thing with Castle, it's not fair to Josh. She can't date him when she clearly has feelings for another guy. It just won't be today. And she and Castle had agreed that they should put whatever happened behind them so it's all good. For now, anyway.

Things had been surprisingly easy to get back to after their impromptu make out session in the break room. She keeps expecting to feel awkward, but nothing happens. On the contrary, she feels excited, giddy even.

To be honest, she's not entirely sure what to think. Sure, they had been doing this dance for almost three years and recently crossed a few lines in their relationship, but the fact of the matter is that he is still with Gina and she is with Josh. She has every intention to break things off with Josh, but who's to say he will leave Gina for her? And if he does leave her, what guarantee does she have that this thing between them will even work? And if it doesn't, what happens to their partnership?

See, this is exactly why she had avoided crossing the line with Castle in the past. All this confusion was enough to give her a headache. The truth is she is not sure if her heart can handle Castle. And the fact that they have already crossed a huge line in their relationship terrifies her. So for now, she will just take it one step at a time and see what happens.

She is pulled out of her reverie when her phone vibrates in her pocket, signaling a new message.

_Going home to try and get some writing done. Are we still on for tonight?__ I promise I'll be on my best behavior and Alexis would love to hang out with you again. –RC_

She sighs and bites her bottom lip, unsure.

"Something wrong?" Josh asks, noticing her frown. She looks at him startled and shakes her head after a moment.

"Not really. Just… something came up and I'll have to work tonight." The words are out before she can even think them through. Where did that lie come from? Damn it, this is all wrong.

"Oh, that's okay. I'm on call anyway." He smiles and takes her hand in his, giving it a light squeeze, before releasing it. "I'll miss you, though."

She bites down on her bottom lip and tries to smile at him. "Yeah, me too." She says and he asks for the check. While he is paying, she texts Castle back.

_Yeah, I'll see you guys tonight._


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Have I mentioned how amazingly awesome you guys are? Seriously, I am completely overwhelmed here. You're way too kind to me, but I'm so incredibly happy that you like this story, you have no idea. Thank you so much for all your reviews, alerts and putting me in your favorites list. This really means the world to me. I can't thank you enough.

**Disclaimer: Do. Not. Own. Castle. Got it?**

**Touch**

**Chapter 5**

For the second night in a row, Kate finds herself standing nervously at Castle's front door. She smoothes down her shirt and pushes a lose strand of hair behind her ear, gathering the courage to ring the doorbell. A full five minutes pass by before she finally does it and is greeted excitedly once again by Alexis. The teen pulls her into a bear hug saying how excited she is that she decided to hang out with them again and they should definitely finish the movie this time around.

Kate laughs and tells her she is going to try her best. Alexis leads her into the kitchen where her dad is getting a ton of popcorn ready. It feels like a déjà vu, except it doesn't. So much has happened in the mere twenty four hours since she had been there the night before. The first change is the look in Castle's eyes when he sees her. The desire there is now so blatantly obvious that she feels a blush creeping up her neck as soon as his eyes land on her. He smiles and greets her exactly like he had the other night, except this time his lips linger on her cheek just a tad longer than strictly necessary.

"Did I miss anything interesting at the precinct after I left?" he asks her as Alexis grabs a bowl of popcorn and heads to living room to get the movie ready.

Kate makes herself comfortable on the counter, realizing Castle is now working on a homemade pizza.

"You missed a lot of paperwork and an awesome game of Patience. It was a blast." She says dryly. He grins at her and she smiles back.

"I knew it. Your day gets incredibly boring when I'm not around to entertain you, doesn't it? Admit it." He says, handing her a beer, his fingers brushing the back of her hand.

She looks at him and swallows hard. She has barely been here for ten minutes and he is already getting under her skin. When his fingers don't immediately leave her hand, she looks down at their hands and then back up at him.

"Castle, don't." she warns him, but doesn't move her hand away from his touch.

He raises an eyebrow at her. "I don't see you making any effort to stop me, detective."

She bites down on her bottom lip and sees his eyes suddenly focus on her current action. His fingers are now gently caressing the back of her hand and goose bumps are erupting everywhere on her skin. He leans closer to her and kisses the bottom lip she had just been biting on, sucking on it gently. She lets out a breathy moan and tugs at his shirt to bring him closer. When his tongue finally touches hers, her body starts tingling all over. That's also when those stupid alarm bells start screaming in her head.

She breaks the kiss, breathless, and puts a hand on his chest, keeping him away.

"No, wait. We can't do this." She whispers and takes a deep breath, trying to calm the freight train in her chest. He looks away from her and she knows he is trying to hide his disappointment. But he has got to understand that this is wrong. They shouldn't be doing this.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry." He says and rests his forehead against hers. She can feel his breath on her skin and it's all she can do to keep from kissing that disappointed look away.

"We agreed we would put this behind us. At least for now." She touches his cheek and he nods, nuzzling against her hand.

"You're right. You're absolutely right. It was stronger than me." He says and steps away from her, letting her get down from the counter. "How long do we have to forget about this for?" he asks and she can't help but chuckle at his hopeful look.

"We are both seeing other people right now, Rick. I don't want them to get hurt because we couldn't control ourselves." She reaches for her bottle and takes a sip of beer.

"I know it's not fair to them. I don't want to hurt Gina any more than I already have in the past." He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated.

"Where is she, by the way?" she asks, afraid that his girlfriend might burst through the door at any moment.

He sees the concern in her eyes and brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. "Don't worry, she is in Seattle handling one of her authors. She won't be back for another couple of days."

Kate nods and opens her mouth to say something, but Alexis' voice interrupts her.

"The movie is starting, guys. How long until the pizza is ready?"

"We'll be right there, pumpkin." Castle calls to her and turns back to Kate. "We'll finish this later?" he asks handing her a bowl of popcorn.

"Yeah." She says and before she can turn to leave, his lips are on hers again, but the kiss only lasts a few seconds. She rolls her eyes at him and he gives her his best innocent little boy smile. "You're incorrigible." She tells him, which only makes his smile bigger. "You're staying away from me during that movie."

"I'll try my best, detective." He laughs and she walks away shaking her head.

God, he is driving her crazy.

* * *

They managed to not touch until an hour into the movie. She had to admit Castle was on his best behavior and they touched by pure accident. Or so he claims. She leaned forward to place her bottle and the empty popcorn bowl on the coffee table; when she returned to her previous position, Castle seemed to be sitting closer and their shoulders touched. She turned to look at him, but he seemed completely focused on the story playing on the big screen in front of them. He couldn't hide the small smile playing on his lips, however, so she knew he had been affected by their accidental touching as much as she had.

Shrugging, she decided that was all she would allow tonight. They couldn't let this get out of control, especially with Alexis in the room. Another ten minutes passed by until Castle mimicked her earlier action and put his bottle on the coffee table. When he leaned back, his arm slowly made its way to the back of the couch, behind Kate's head. She rolled her eyes at his move, but didn't say anything. A couple of minutes later, his arm was around her shoulders. That was when she elbowed him gently.

"Subtle should be your middle name." she quipped in a whisper, sarcasm dripping from her voice. He pulled her closer to his side and whispered in her ear that she had no idea. Again, goose bumps covered her skin at his lips being so close to her ear. He ran his fingers up and down her arm lazily and she decided to just ignore him, which proved to be very, very hard.

And that's exactly where they are now. The movie is almost over and Kate is resting her head on his shoulder sleepily. His fingers are still trailing up and down her arm and one of her hands is doing the same on his thigh. They know they have to split apart before the movie ends and Alexis catches them like this, but they can't seem to move – thus postponing the inevitable separation until the last minute.

When the movie finally ends, they see Alexis stretching her arms above her head and jump apart before she turns around to look at them.

"Guess I'm going to call it a night." She says with a yawn. "Kate, thanks for coming over."

Kate smiles at her. "Thanks for inviting me, Lex. I had a great time." The teen smiles at the nickname.

"We should do it again sometime." She says and leans down to place a kiss at her dad's cheek.

"Sure, I'd love to." Kate nods with a smile and Alexis leans down again and gives her a quick peck on the cheek.

"Night, guys." She says and Kate waves her goodnight.

"Good night, sweetheart." Castle says and watches her walk up the stairs until she is out of sight. Then he turns to Kate. "So…" he says with a raised eyebrow.

"So…" Kate grins at him. "I think I should probably go home." She says and he shakes his head, grabbing her hand and leading her back to the kitchen.

"Oh, no, Kate. The night is young. Can I offer you another beer?" he grins at her and hands her another bottle. She rolls her eyes, but takes it anyway.

"Are you trying to get me drunk, Castle?" she gives him her best intimidating glare and he throws his hands up in surrender.

"Never, detective. I know you can hold your liquor better than me even." His eyes are sparkling with mischief and she shakes her head at him.

"Good boy." She says and hops up onto the counter. "Cheers." She holds out her bottle to him and he clinks his with hers. "Alexis is a great kid." She tells him, trying to stay on a neutral subject.

"She takes after me." He winks at her and she laughs.

"Not her modesty, she doesn't." he looks at her, his hand over his heart.

"You wound me, Kate. Really." She looks at him, amused.

"Whatever can I do to make it up to you?" she gives him a mock sympathetic look.

"You can always kiss it better." He suggests with a grin and walks over to her, standing between her legs.

"Castle, we've talked about this." She says warningly when his hands rest on her thighs.

"Well, we never really finished discussing our current predicament." He leans in and takes her earlobe in his mouth, his tongue flicking it softly.

She takes a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "You're not making this any easier for either of us." Her voice comes out breathless as he finds her pulse point and gently sucks on it. "Rick, please."

Her hand touches the back of his head and he stops to look at her for a second. Her eyes immediately focus on his lips and she instinctively leans in, touching his lips with hers. She pulls back after a moment, but he pulls her back in and this kiss makes her mind go completely foggy and her body to tingle in all the right places, the need to have him almost overcoming her. Their tongues battle fiercely for dominance and she finds herself wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, pulling him as close to her as humanly possible.

When they break away again, they are both breathless and aroused. Her chest is heaving and she tries to take a deep calming breath. He kisses her again, this time softly, with no rush at all.

"This is getting a little ridiculous." She whispers and he laughs, nodding.

"You can say that again." He says and she gives him a small smile. He traces her bottom lip with his thumb and she kisses it, sucking on it for a minute. "I don't think I can do this, Kate." He whispers, caressing her cheek. "I don't think I can stay away from you anymore." She kisses his palm and then leans in to steal another kiss. "It was easier when we kept our distance, but now…" he trails off and she nods, understanding.

"I know." She says and closes her eyes, savoring the feel of his hands on her skin. "I don't really know how this happened, but it seems I just can't control it. I don't know how you do it, but…"

"Yeah, I know." He kisses her softly again and they allow themselves to get lost in the feeling for a few minutes. "I know we shouldn't do this. It's not right." He kisses her neck again and she tries with all her might to fight the moan trying to escape. "But I can't stop it. You need to tell me to stop." He nuzzles against her neck and she gives him better access when he starts placing butterfly kisses on her skin.

She enjoys the feeling for a moment, and then takes a deep, fortifying breath. "Rick." Again, she is a little embarrassed about how it comes out almost like a moan. "Rick, we have to stop. Before we do something we'll both regret."

He looks at her again and she can see the struggle in his eyes; she's feeling the exact same thing. She runs her hands through his hair gently and smiles when he closes his eyes at her touch.

"Okay." He says after a beat. "Thank you for being the strong one." He gives her a small smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

"Trust me, I'm not happy either. But we'll figure this out." She whispers and rests her forehead on his shoulder.

"We have to." He says and she giggles at the desperation in his voice. "You have no idea how much I want you. How long I've wanted this." He caresses her back and gently gets her off the counter. She stands in front of him, her head now resting on his chest, his arms around her waist. She looks up at him and gives him a quick peck on the lips.

"I know, believe me." She tells him and tries to step away, but his grip on her only tightens. "I should probably go home."

"No, don't go yet." He kisses the top of her head. "Maybe we can watch another movie? I promise I'll behave."

She sighs and nods at him.

"Okay. As long as we keep our hands to ourselves."

"You've got yourself a deal, detective."

* * *

It's hours later when Kate wakes up suddenly. Again, she experiences that feeling of déjà vu as she is lying on Castle's couch, with him holding her close. He is snoring lightly and she can barely see his face in the dark room. Nuzzling against his neck, she tries to fall asleep again, but almost jumps when her cell vibrates in her pocket. She tries to get it without waking Rick up. She has one new message.

_I finally have a day off tomorrow. Want to grab some __breakfast around 9 and then we can do something? I miss you._

The guilt threatens to take over her, but Castle interrupts her inner rant.

"What's wrong?" he asks sleepily. She smiles at him and puts her cell back in her pocket.

"I just got a text, that's all. Let's go back to sleep." She says kissing his neck softly.

"Mmkay." He mumbles and is asleep in seconds, his arms holding her so close she's almost laying on top of him.

Before the guilt can try to take her over again, she relaxes in his arms and is back asleep in a matter of minutes.

* * *

**Review?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: You guys never fail to surprise me. Really. I'm still overwhelmed. This is surreal. But thank you so much. I tried to reply to everyone who reviewed, so if you didn't get a reply it was because it wasn't a signed review.**

**But really, thank you. This means a lot.**

**Hope you like this one.**

**Touch**

**Chapter 6**

It's happening again. He sees Jerry Tyson holding a gun on him, mocking him about his fixation with death; daring to compare him, a sane writer, to a crazy psychopath. He doesn't understand how he can be in two places at once, but there he is, standing just behind himself, as surreal as that sounds. He tries to untie his other self, but realizes he can't move. The familiar feeling of helplessness he has been feeling since that night creeps in and he can't do anything but watch.

After having the same dream for three nights in a row, he almost knows the routine. But something doesn't feel right this time. He can hear footsteps outside and voices, female voices. Suddenly, a blur of red hair bursts into the room and Jerry reacts. Alexis is down on the floor, her eyes fixed, a red stain spreading on her shirt. He doesn't even have time to scream and the picture has already changed.

Alexis is gone. He listens to Jerry say the very same thing he said that night and again he hears footsteps outside. He blinks and his mother is dead on the floor. Numbness takes over him and he can't feel anything, can't hear anything. Time doesn't seem to matter because the two people he loved the most are gone and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He still can't do anything because he _can't fucking_ m_ove_.

Lost in his sorrow, he doesn't realize the picture has changed again and Jerry is droning on the same damn monologue that has been haunting him for days. The door bursts open again and someone with a flashlight runs in. He realizes the room has fallen into complete darkness, but Jerry is still there. He hears her call out to him and her flashlight focuses on his face for a second. The sound of the gunshot almost deafens him this time. He screams, but no sound comes out. There is nothing he can do, but watch as she falls to the floor like a ragdoll. He couldn't do anything. He has failed her. He has killed her.

He could do absolutely nothing but watch.

* * *

Rick wakes up with a gasp. Breathing hard, he can feel his skin covered in cold sweat, his heart is beating so fast it hurts. He blinks furiously, trying to adjust to the faint light coming from the living room window. It looks like the sun is just starting to rise.

His breathing still coming out in irregular gasps, he almost jumps when he feels someone touching his cheek. His eyes suddenly focus on Kate looking concerned down at him. When it registers in his mind that she is real, she is there and she is okay, his breathing starts to ease up.

"Hey, it's okay. You're okay." She pushes his hair away from his forehead. "It was just a dream."

He can finally breathe again and his heart is not beating erratically in his chest anymore. She gives him a small smile and caresses his cheek, her touch having a soothing effect on him. He feels embarrassed that she had to witness his reaction to a recurring nightmare. Closing his eyes, he allows himself to enjoy her touch for a little bit longer.

He knows she is waiting for him to be ready to talk, but he isn't. Not just yet. It was too intense this time, too real. The pain was too real. A few minutes go by in complete silence and when he finally speaks, it feels like an eternity passed in no time at all.

"Sorry I woke you up." His voice comes out so low, it's barely a whisper.

His emotions are still so raw, so torn, and with the whirlwind that his life has been for the past couple of days, he still hasn't been able to put the pieces back together. It hurts. The thought of losing any of them – Alexis, his mother, Kate – tears at his heart. It had been so real.

"You didn't. I was already awake." She says, brushing a light kiss on his jaw. She looks at him, biting down on her bottom lip for a moment. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He swallows hard and for the first time notices a tear is about to escape his eyes, the knot in his throat suddenly making it hard for him to breathe. He swallows again and takes a deep breath, but it doesn't work. So he shakes his head and grits his teeth together, willing himself not to cry in front of her. She doesn't need to see him like this.

Seeming to notice his inner turmoil, she nods and lies backs down on him, nuzzling his neck, occasionally placing kisses on his damp skin. He is eternally grateful that she is not pushing him to talk about this. He is not ready yet; the wound is still too fresh.

An eternity passes until he feels the knot in his throat finally fading. He clears his throat and feels her move, until she's resting her chin on his chest, looking up at him.

"What time is it?" his voice sounds hoarse and unsure even to his own ears. He holds her tight against him, both arms encircling her waist; the need to reassure himself that she's really there still strong.

"Just after seven, I think." She closes her eyes for a minute and rests her cheek against his chest. "I have to go." He starts to protest, but she silences him with a finger against his lips. "I'm supposed to meet Josh for breakfast."

Even though her voice came out softly, almost like she has no desire to leave their current position at all, her words are as sharp as a knife to his ears. He tries to maintain a neutral face; he can't give anything away. It's not like she is his. In fact, he should be thinking about his girlfriend. This – whatever this is between them – is wrong and they shouldn't even be thinking about it, let alone acting on those feelings.

As much as he shows to the public this rich playboy persona with a dozen women on each arm, he has always been against cheating. After all, he has been on the cheated on side and it's not pleasant. After what Meredith did to him, he had vowed to himself he would never put anyone through that. But with Kate… God, it seems like he has no control whatsoever when it comes to her. His body seems to have a mind of its own, he can't help it. The need to be near her, to touch her, to kiss her, to have her is too strong. He can't fight it. Right now, with her lying almost on top of him, he is fighting the urge to pull her in for a kiss. The desire is almost incontrollable.

He needs her.

The fact that she is leaving his arms, his house to go meet another man kills him. But again, he has no claim over her. She can do whatever she wants.

"Oh. Okay." It's all he manages to say without betraying his disappointment.

Or so he thought. She lets out a sigh, resting her chin on his chest again.

"I have to make it right, Rick. I can't keep going like this. It's wrong. It's against everything I stand for. I don't do cheating, I'm not that kind of girl." She says and he can feel her frustration and disappointment in herself. He feels guilty.

"I know. It's my fault, really. I put you in this position, Kate. I'm sorry." She leans closer and touches his lips with hers for a moment, effectively silencing him.

"Stop it. This is not entirely your fault. It takes two to tango, Rick, and you didn't make me do anything I didn't want to do. This is on me too." She bites down on her lip again and he can tell she is thinking what to say next. "It's killing me. I don't want to do this to him, you know? He is a good guy, he doesn't deserve that. So I have to talk to him. Regardless of what happens between us, I have to let him go."

He takes a deep, calming breath to steady his racing heart. She is leaving Josh to be with him. She really wants this as much as he does.

"Okay. I don't want you to feel pressured, though, Kate. You don't have to do anything if you don't want to. If you want me to back off, I will, no questions asked."

"You know, for a best selling novelist, you can be pretty dense sometimes." She says with a small grin and kisses him. His hand touches the back of her head, his fingers disappearing in her hair as he holds her in place. Their tongues play together for a moment before she pulls away. "You know I want to be with you, Castle. And wipe that smug grin off your face." She says, but he ends up grinning even more.

"I'll talk to Gina as soon as she gets back from Seattle. I want to be with you, but I don't want to feel guilty about it. Cheating is something I don't take lightly." He says seriously and she nods.

"I know. We'll figure this out, okay? I promise." She says and gets off of him. "Now what's a girl gotta do to get some coffee around here?" she asks with a grin. He sits up and stretches his arms above his head, before standing up.

"Your wish is my command, detective." He grins at her and gives her a peck on the cheek before making his way to the kitchen.

"Do you mind if I use your bathroom for a minute?" she asks, putting her shoes on. He shakes his head and watches as she leaves the room.

That woman will be the death of him, he's absolutely sure.

"Morning, dad." He hears Alexis' sleepy greeting and turns around to kiss the top of her head when she reaches him.

"Morning, sweetheart. What are you doing up so early?" he asks as his daughter sits on the counter.

"I'm hungry."

At that precise moment, Kate chooses to return to the kitchen and he sees the surprise on her face when she sees Alexis. He nods at her discreetly, trying to tell her it's okay.

"Morning, Lex." She says and he can hear the nervous tone of her voice. Alexis looks up surprised.

"Kate, hi! I had no idea you were still here. Are you staying for breakfast?" she asks with a smile. That's his girl, he's taught her well.

"Kate ended up crashing on the couch halfway through the second movie." He says and Alexis nods.

"Yeah." Kate says, visibly relaxing a little. "And I can't stay this time, sweetie. I'm already late. Maybe some other time?"

"Sure, we should definitely do this more often." The teen tells her and he can't help but smile when Kate smiles at her.

"Sure thing."

"Your coffee, m'lady." He hands her a mug, bowing down to her. He can tell she's rolling her eyes at him.

"Shut up, Castle." She takes the cup from his hand, her fingers brushing his. "But thanks for the coffee." She offers him a small smile.

They drink their coffee in silence, but he can feel his daughter's inquisitive looks on them, even though she's making herself a sandwich. He decides to ignore that for now. _He_ doesn't even know what's going on or what is going to happen in their future. Alexis will have to wait until they sort things out.

Kate finishes her coffee and washes the mug, placing it back where it belongs. She tells them she needs to get going and he offers to walk her to the elevator. Once outside the loft, he takes her hand in his until she pushes the button to wait for the ride and then pulls her to him, his arms immediately encircling her waist. She pulls him closer, her head on the crook of his neck.

"We'll talk later?" he asks quietly, after kissing the top of her head and feels her nodding.

"Yeah. And I'll see you tomorrow at the precinct?" she looks up at him and he leans down to kiss her lips for a moment.

"Definitely."

"Okay." She rests her head on the crook of his neck again and they're silent for a moment. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure."

"Can we keep this between us for now? I mean, after we sort everything out. Can we just keep this to ourselves?" she asks, her voice shy.

"Of course. I wasn't planning on telling everyone immediately anyway."

"Good." She says as the elevator arrives. He kisses her one more time and lets her go.

* * *

She gets home, takes a shower and pulls on some jeans and a green long sleeved shirt. Grabbing her leather jacket on her way out, she makes her way to her car in a hurry. She's already running late. She texted Josh, saying she had woken up late, but would be there soon. She is anxious to talk to him and get this over with. She hates this feeling that she is doing something wrong.

Parking the car in front of the little café they had agreed to meet, she walks to the entrance and looks around, smiling when she finds him. She makes her way to their booth and sits down, after kissing his cheek. They order and he starts telling her about his latest cool cases. She smiles and offers an opinion here and there, trying to wait for the right moment to bring up the subject.

They're about to ask for the check when her phone rings. She groans when she sees Esposito's name on her caller ID.

"It's my day off." She greets him and he chuckles.

"Sorry, boss. Karpowsky is home sick and we need you. We've got a body."

She feels like screaming. "Please tell me you're kidding."

"Nope." He says and she lets out a sigh.

"Fine. What's the address?"

She writes it down on a napkin and hangs up. She looks at Josh apologetically, but he already knows. Duty calls. He tells her it's okay, he understands. They'll just get together some other time. She apologizes and he kisses her before letting her go.

Walking to her car, she pulls out her phone to call Castle.

Damn it, it was so close.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Have I mentioned how you guys are every writer's dream? Because you really are. Thank you SO much for all your reviews and alerts. Sorry I didn't have time to reply to everyone this time. Real life got in the way. I really appreciate all your feedback, though. I really, really do.**

**Hope you enjoy this one as well.**

**Disclaimer: Castle is not mine.**

**Touch**

**Chapter 7**

"I thought you had today off." He asks when she meets him outside the victim's apartment.

"Don't remind me." She lets out a heavy sigh and he can tell she is in a bad mood.

He had been surprised when she called him, not even two hours after leaving his apartment. When he answered, she didn't say much, only that they had a body, the address and to meet her there. Taken aback by this sudden turn of events – she had gone to meet Josh to break up with him – he didn't even remember to ask how her breakfast with motorcycle boy had been.

"And you're here because…" he asks and she fixes a glare at him, even though they both know she is not angry with him and is just venting out her frustration.

"Karpowsky is sick so they called me in." she says and leads him into the apartment. The place is trashed and it looks like there had been quite a struggle. Whoever the victim was, they had fought for their life fiercely, it seems. "Oh well, who needs to rest, anyway, right?" she rolls her eyes and he gives her a small smile.

"We can always hope it will be an easy case." He tells her and she chuckles, elbowing him on the ribs.

"Thanks a lot, Castle. You've just jinxed us. We'll be working on this for days now." He laughs and is glad he at least made her smile.

He touches her arm, stopping her before they enter the bedroom where the victim was found. He needs to know.

"How was…" he starts to ask and she pulls him away from the uniforms processing the scene. She runs a hand through her hair and shakes her head.

"I got called in before I had a chance to even mention it." She shakes her head again and lets out a humorless laugh. "This really sucks." He takes her hand in his and gives it a comforting squeeze.

"Don't worry, Kate." He says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Like you said, we'll figure this out." She nods and he fights the urge to pull her in for a hug.

"Yeah" she says with a sigh. "I just want to get this over with, you know? I hate this feeling."

"Really, whenever you two are done chatting, we'll be right here. The vic is not going anywhere." They hear Ryan's voice and quickly let go of each other's hands. Kate glares at him and the young detective's grin quickly falters and he takes a step back. Rick can't help but chuckle quietly at how intimidating she can be. "Uh, Dr. Parish was asking for you." He stumbles on his words and quickly ducks back into the bedroom. Castle knows she's fighting the urge to grin at how uncomfortable poor Ryan is.

"We'll be right there." She calls out and turns back to him. "We'll talk about this later, okay?"

"Sure." He says and makes his way into the bedroom. He _really_ hopes this will be an easy case.

* * *

Turns out it was an easy case. In a fit of jealous rage, the victim's boyfriend – drunk _and_ high at the time – lost it and strangled her. When he realized what he was doing, it was already too late; she was already dead. Kate didn't even have to try to break him. He confessed after only five minutes in the interrogation room.

Relieved she would be able to go home earlier than expected, Kate hands over processing the guy in to Ryan and Esposito and gathers her things, getting ready to leave. She can feel Rick's eyes on her from across the bullpen and looks up to meet his gaze. He is standing just outside the break room and smiles at her when their eyes meet. She walks over to him, steeling herself to not do anything stupid while they are at the precinct. The fact that she had impulsively kissed him in that very same room a couple of days ago – where anyone could have seen them – still haunts her. She normally isn't one to be so impulsive, so spontaneous. What is it about him that makes her let go of her self control like that, she wonders.

"I think we're just about done here if you want to go home." She tells him. "Thank God this was quick and I can go home and relax."

"I was going to ask if you wanted to go and do something, but I guess that's a no, huh?" he says, following her to the elevator. She bites down on her bottom lip and shakes her head, lowering her voice when she finally speaks.

"It's not that I don't want to spend time with you. You know that, right?" she whispers to him and pushes the button. "I think maybe we should try to…" she sighs, looking for the right words. Part of her mind is screaming at her to say to hell with it and go with him, but her sensible, rational side knows she will only do something she will regret and make even more of a mess of the situation they are currently in.

"Maybe we should try not to put ourselves in a position to complicate matters even further?" he supplies and she is relieved and grateful that he understands where she is coming from. She knows this is hard for him too and that he doesn't want to hurt Gina any more than she wants to hurt Josh.

Before she can answer, the elevator arrives and they step in. As soon as the doors close, she takes his hand in hers.

"I just don't want to end up doing something that we'll both regret later on. Not until we've sorted this out, you know? If I go with you right now, I know we won't keep our distance from each other. It's not like we have been very successful so far, right?" she says pointing at their hands clasped together and looks at him when she hears him chuckling quietly. "You do understand, don't you?"

"No, I do. I don't like it, but I understand." He touches her cheek and she leans into his hand, kissing his palm lightly. "And I'll see you tomorrow, anyway." He says and leans in to give her a quick kiss. She tries as hard as she can to break the kiss quickly, but his tongue touches her bottom lip and she gives him access without a second thought. Allowing herself to enjoy the feeling for a few seconds, she pulls back, only to lean in again for a quick peck on his lips.

"This is exactly what I mean." She laughs, gesturing between them and takes a step away when the doors open. He laughs with her and they step out of the elevator. "Did you drive here?"

"No, I took a cab. Mother has the car. Her new play opens tonight and she left earlier for dress rehearsal."

"Oh, that's great! Tell her I said break a leg." She says with a smile and tugs at his arm to follow her. "Come on, writer boy. I'll give you a ride home."

* * *

After dropping Rick off at his loft – where they behaved very well, with only a kiss on the cheek – she drives home, already planning on relaxing for the rest of the day. Not that there's a lot of it left with the sun already setting on the horizon.

She drops her keys on the coffee table and makes her way to the bathroom to take a shower. She stays under the hot water spray for what feels like an eternity, letting all the tension wash away from her body. She is frustrated she didn't get a chance to talk things out with Josh. Maybe she shouldn't have hesitated so much like she had. Waiting for the right time, my ass, she thinks, annoyed at herself. Now look where she is.

She hates this and, to be completely honest, she is still so insecure about pursuing a relationship with Castle. After all, his track record isn't exactly stellar. But then again, she has come to understand that the playboy she initially thought he was is just part of an act. It's just who he is to the public. As she has gotten to know him for the past three years, she has realized that he really is a nice guy. Sure, he can act like an undisciplined child at times, but she knows he is a good father, a good son and has a heart of gold. If she was honest with herself, she knew she wouldn't want him any other way; 9-year-old high on sugar act and all.

The fact that they can't seem to keep their hands away from each other just complicates things, however good it may feel at the time. They can't seem to be left alone in the same room that they are immediately all over one another. She knew this kind of chemistry, this kind of passion existed, but she had never experienced it first hand. In fact, she had never thought it would ever happen to her at all. None of her previous lovers had been like this.

She is pulled out of her reverie when her phone rings. With a groan, she hopes against hope it's not one of the boys saying they have another body. She turns the shower off and wraps a towel around herself, walking into her bedroom where her phone is still ringing on her bed. Frowning when she sees Alexis' number on the screen, she grabs the phone and answers it, worried that something might have happened.

"Hello?"

"Kate, hi!" she hears Little Castle's cheerful voice and inwardly relaxes. "Is this a bad time?"

"No, not at all, Lex. I was just getting out of the shower." She answers and starts looking through her drawer for a pair of comfy sweatpants. "What's up?"

"Well, Grams' play is opening tonight and we've got an extra ticket. So I was wondering if you wanted to come with us." She says in one breath and Kate smiles that the teen seems to be a little nervous. "I mean, if you don't have any plans, that is."

"No, I don't, actually. My plans for tonight were drinking a glass of wine and read a book. Maybe watch a movie." She hears Alexis laugh and can't help laughing with her. "Are you sure I wouldn't be imposing, though? I mean, this seems to be a family thing between you guys."

"Not at all. I'm sure dad will be thrilled that you're coming."

"Oh, so he doesn't know you called me?" she asks, not sure which answer will satisfy her. On the one hand, she is glad that Alexis seems to want to spend time with her. On the other hand, however, she is not sure she is glad if Castle put his kid up to this just so they can spend time together. Especially after they had both agreed it would be a good idea to spend some time apart.

"Not really, no…" she trails off and doesn't speak for a moment. "Is that okay? I mean, I thought it'd be fun and I like hanging out with you so I thought I'd ask." The teen says nervously.

"No, sweetie, relax. It's perfectly okay. I like hanging out with you too." She says with a smile. "So what time is the play supposed to start?"

"At 8. We're leaving about an hour earlier. We can pick you up if you want." Alexis says, clearly more at ease now.

"Sure, that'd be great. So, call me when you're on your way?"

"Okay, I will. I'm really glad you're coming with us, Kate. It's going to be so much fun!" Kate smiles at Little Castle's excitement and starts browsing through her wardrobe.

"Me too, Lex. Me too."

* * *

At a quarter past 7, her phone rings again. She takes one last look at herself on the mirror and fixes her now slightly curly hair for the last time. Satisfied with the result, she grabs the phone and answers it, making her way to the living room to pick up her purse.

"We're waiting for you down here, Kate." Alexis says when Kate greets her.

"Okay, I'll just get my purse and coat and will be right down." She says, putting on her red coat and taking another look in the mirror.

When she leaves her building, Castle is waiting for her outside the car and Kate is surprised to see – even though she shouldn't be – that they have got a driver. When he looks at her, she can see the need and desire in his eyes and her skin breaks out in goose bumps. If they are this explosive when they have only kissed, she can't wait to find out what sex between them will be like.

She smiles at him and he kisses her cheek. "You look so beautiful, Kate." He whispers in her ear, his lips barely touching her skin. "I'm fighting the urge to drag you back to your apartment right now."

The look in his eyes almost undoes her right there and then and she knows her eyes reflect the same unbridled need.

"Please, behave." She whispers back breathlessly. He grins at her and steps away to open the door. "Hi, Lex." She says with a smile when she gets in the car. "You look amazing."

"Thanks, Kate. You look great too." She smiles at her as Castle settles in next to Kate.

"You ladies do look amazing." He quips and Kate turns to looks at him with a smirk.

"Are you fishing for a compliment here, Castle?" she teases and Alexis laughs at the looks on her dad's face.

"Well…" he trails off, running a hand through his hair. Kate slaps his hand away, fixing his hair for him with a laugh.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Mr. Castle." she says with a grin. "Right, Alexis?"

"You look great, dad." Little Castle offers, trying not to laugh.

"That's pity compliment. I'm not sure I like you two together. You're ganging up on me." He pouts and Kate rolls her eyes and leans in to give him a playful kiss on the cheek.

"You poor, poor baby." She mocks him and looks at Alexis who is watching them interestedly. That's when she realizes what she has just done and backs away, blushing furiously.

"Joe, we're ready to go." Castle calls out to the driver and they immediately drive off. "I was thinking, maybe we could all go grab some dinner after the play. What do you girls think?"

"Sure, that'd be great, dad."

"Kate?" he asks quietly and she looks at him for a moment.

"Sure, Castle. I'd love to." She nods and wonders how the hell they went from agreeing to spend sometime apart just a few hours earlier to being on a date – sort of – right now.

They are seriously pathetic.

* * *

**Review?**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Again, thank you so much for your feedback. You guys are too kind to me.**

**Disclaimer: Castle? Nope. Not mine.**

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Touch

**Chapter 8**

After the play, they make their way to a nearby Italian restaurant. Martha stays behind to celebrate a successful opening with her friends, but thanks them for coming to see her. Kate was very impressed with Martha's talent and comments that now she knows where Castle got his flare for the dramatic, which makes Alexis giggle and Rick to wink at her.

Once at the restaurant, they get settled in and get ready to order. Alexis sits next to her dad and Kate sits in front of them. They order and make small talk while they wait for the food. Halfway through the meal, Kate feels Castle's shoes gently touching hers. She smiles at him and gives him a warning look, discreetly nodding in Alexis' direction. He winks at her with a grin and refuses to end their contact, however small it is.

Before they order dessert, Alexis excuses herself to go to the ladies room, which finally gives them some alone time. Rick reaches across the table takes Kate's hand in his.

"Thank you for coming tonight." He whispers and she rolls her eyes, grinning at him.

"I'm only here because your daughter invited me." She teases him and he smiles. "She was very convincing on the phone. Especially when she said you had no idea that she was calling me. It was very sweet." She says and gives his hand one last squeeze before pulling it back. They are in public, after all. They should keep the PDA to a minimum.

"I really had no idea. She just came into my room and told me we were going to pick you up on the way to the theater. I was shocked." He laughs and she can't help laughing with him. "I hope that was okay and that you didn't feel like you had to come."

She shakes her head, dismissing his concern. "Of course it was okay. She was so sweet about it; there was no way I could say no. And I had always wanted to see Martha perform so it's all good."

"At least we have Alexis here to serve as a buffer between us. We are behaving so well so far, aren't we?" he says with a glint of mischief in his eyes. "Although I have to say I really, really want to kiss you right now."

Kate laughs and feels her body heating up at his words. "Too bad you can't." she retorts with a smirk and he pouts. "Castle, don't even think about it. We're in public." She warns him and he rolls his eyes.

"Spoilsport." He pokes his tongue out at her and she laughs again.

"How is it that you can act all mature and serious one second, and then the next thing I know, the 9-year-old is back?"

He grins at her.

"What can I say, it's a gift." He says leaning back on his chair and she rolls her eyes.

"I wouldn't call it exactly that." She smirks at him and he is about to say something when his phone rings. He frowns when he looks at the caller id. "What is it?" she asks and he looks serious all of a sudden.

"It's Gina." He says quickly before answering the phone.

She tries to ignore that pang of jealousy that tugs at her heart, but it becomes harder and harder the longer he is talking to her. It's not like she has any right to feel like that. He is not hers. Not yet, anyway. But right now, he is not hers and she shouldn't be here on a non-date with him and his daughter, while his girlfriend is god knows where.

As a matter of fact, she can't be here because her boyfriend is probably wondering where she is and she didn't even think to call him. Suddenly she feels uncomfortable and out of place and she just wants to leave. This is exactly why they were supposed to keep their distance. This was why they agreed it would be better to spend some time apart. Now she feels guilty because he is here and she is here and their respective romantic partners are elsewhere alone.

This is not right.

She starts to gather her things and feels like she needs to get out of there as soon as humanly possible. Where is Alexis, anyway, she wonders looking around. Her eyes catch Rick looking at her, confusion written on his face and she is sure he can see her mini panic attack all over her face.

"I'll be there soon. Yeah, okay. Don't worry, we will." He tells Gina and hangs up. She can feel his eyes on her, but can't bring herself to look at him. When she feels his hand covering hers on the table, she sneaks a glance at him, only to find him looking at her concerned. She bites down on her bottom lip, not knowing what to say. "Kate?"

"Yeah?" she says and finally looks up at him.

"What's wrong?" he asks, rubbing lazy circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.

"Nothing." She replies quickly. "I… I think I should probably go." He holds her hand tighter.

"Kate, come on. What is it?" he tries again, but she shakes her head. She can't do this. They have to stay apart until this is all figured out. "Is this about Gina?"

She swallows hard and closes her eyes before answering. "I just think we should try to stick to our original plan. Maybe some time apart will do us some good."

"Don't do this." He tells her and laces his fingers through hers. "Don't shut me out. I know what you're doing. We'll figure this out, Kate. I promise." He reaches out and touches her chin, making her look at him. "Hey, I promise, okay? Don't give up on us here."

"I'm not. I just…" she takes a deep breath and sees that Alexis is coming back to their table. "It just hit me again how wrong this is and I can't do this until we've worked this out." She says and pulls her hand back, motioning with her head at Alexis' direction to let him know she is not rejecting him.

"We'll talk about this later?" he asks and she wants to kiss his insecurity away.

How did this happen? Just a few days ago she was perfectly content in her relationship with Josh and had even come to accept that maybe she and Castle just weren't meant to be. How could things have changed like that? It doesn't make any sense. She was sure she had finally suppressed her feelings for Castle and now it's like the gates are wide open and she can't hold anything back.

"Kate?" he asks again and she looks at him again and nods.

"Yeah." She swallows hard and plasters a smile on her face when Alexis sits back at the table. "So what did Gina want?" she tries to sound casual, but even to her own ears she can tell she is failing miserably.

"She just got back in town. Apparently her author's book tour had to be cut short." He says and she can only nod. "How about we go grab some ice cream?" he says and Alexis' face lights up.

"Oh, there is this fantastic ice cream parlor just around the corner. Kate, you'll love it! It's seriously the best ice cream I've ever tasted." Little Castle tells her and Kate smiles at her enthusiasm.

"Sure, Lex. That sounds great. I can't be too long, though. I'm working tomorrow and it's kind of late."

"Trust me, this ice cream is worth staying out a little bit longer for. I swear." The teen promises.

"Alright, then, Little Castle. Lead the way." She laughs as Castle asks for the check.

* * *

Alexis watches her father and the detective while they are choosing their ice cream. She has been watching them all night and she has come to the conclusion that something has changed between them. She is not exactly sure what, but she knows something happened.

It's not the fact that they're crazy about each other. That has always been pretty obvious. It's not that difficult to spot, really. All you have to do is spend five minutes in their company and see how they act around each other. But that's what doesn't add up. They have always been like that, but ever since the whole triple killer scare, they seem to have gotten a lot closer.

Something has changed. They seem to be in each other's personal space a lot more now, for one. They are always touching now and that's something she had never thought Kate would let him get away with. She wonders if what has changed is that now they know how the other feels. That would make sense, right? Maybe they have finally confessed their undying love for one another. But then again, if that's the case, it just complicates things because her dad is dating Gina again and she thinks Kate is also seeing someone.

When she left to go to the ladies room, she wanted to give them some alone time. It wasn't that she felt like a third wheel, far from it. Both Kate and her dad went out of their way to make her feel comfortable and include her in the conversation. When Kate asked about Ashley, she had been so excited to have another girl to talk to about her boyfriend, but her dad – being his obnoxious self – promptly changed the subject, saying that if she loved him she would spare him the details. She rolled her eyes at him – something she has noticed Kate does _a lot_, at least when her dad is concerned – and told Kate she would tell her all about it later.

Now that she thinks about it, she really hopes Kate still wants to talk about this because it would be great to have another girl to talk to about relationship stuff. She loves her grandma, but she is not exactly the best role model when it comes to relationships; neither is her mother. Gina is okay, but she doesn't feel all that comfortable with her to talk about stuff like that. Kate is different, though. She doesn't treat her like a child and seems to actually enjoy hanging out with her. Maybe she should ask her if she wants to have lunch some time.

She laughs when Kate first tastes her ice cream and lets out a moan in satisfaction.

"See, I told you it would be the best thing you would ever taste." Alexis says and Kate nods excitedly. She looks at her dad and he is watching the detective with a small smile playing on his lips.

Something _has_ changed. In fact, something has changed sometime during her absence. When she was returning to their table, she noticed they were talking about something serious and her dad was holding Kate's hand. When he touched her chin to make her look at him, she knew she should give them a couple more minutes and that was when she was sure they had crossed some kind of line in their relationship. Usually, Kate wouldn't let him get this close, but there they were.

To be honest, she hopes they get their acts together and figure out they are crazy about one another already. It's not that she doesn't like Gina. She does. But Kate makes her dad happy and that's all that matters to her. If he is happy, then she will accept whoever he chooses and she knows he wants to choose Kate. She knows Gina was his consolation prize.

But now it seems like he's got a second chance with Detective Beckett and she hopes as hell he doesn't blow it this time.

* * *

They park in front of Kate's building and he watches as Kate gives Alexis a quick hug, thanking her for inviting her tonight. He smiles at the scene; he loves that they seem to get along so well and hopes that Alexis will come to accept that he wants a relationship with Kate.

Kate gets out of the car and he tells Alexis he will just walk her to her door and be a gentleman. Her eyes sparkle with something that looks like a mix of mischief and excitement and she tells him she will wait in the car. He has a feeling that she knows something is different, but he has taught her well and she is not going to pry. She will wait until he is ready to tell her.

He follows Kate out of the car and instinctively touches the small of her back as they walk to her building's entrance. He is glad she is not shying away from him. She scared him back at the restaurant, making him think she was backing down. Giving up on them. He can't do that. It's too late now. He is in too deep.

She opens the door and they walk to the elevator. After she has pushed the button, he takes her hand in his and makes her turn around to face him.

"Are you okay?" he asks quietly, his hand on her cheek. She nods, but doesn't say anything. "Are we okay?"

She closes her eyes and leans forward, resting her forehead on his shoulder. His arms encircle her waist and he pulls her closer. He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding when he feels her hug him back.

"I'm sorry about before." She whispers and he touches her chin again, making her look at him.

"Don't worry about it." He leans down and kisses her softly. "Are we okay?" he asks again and she nods.

"Yeah, I just… I don't know how to feel about this whole thing anymore." She admits and rests her head on his chest for a moment. "I want to be with you, but I'm not comfortable with what we're doing. The chances of someone getting hurt in the end are too great." She looks up at him again and gives him a quick kiss. "I meant what I said earlier. I think it would be good for us to spend sometime apart. Outside of work, I mean."

He sighs, knowing that she is right, but just the thought of not touching her in any way kills him. At least they would see each other during investigations, he reasons with himself, trying to see the positive side. It doesn't make him feel better.

"Okay." He says and kisses the top of her head.

"Yeah?" she touches his cheek, making him look at her.

"Yeah. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable about this. I guess we'll just have to sort things out as soon as possible, right? Because I don't think I can stay away from you for very long." He tells her and is glad when she smiles. "I want this to be right."

"Me too." She kisses him one last time and steps away from his embrace. "You should go. Alexis is waiting for you."

He nods and takes her hand to his lips, planting a gentle kiss on it. "Goodnight."

"Night, Rick."

He leans in to give her one last, breathtaking kiss and walks out.

* * *

**Thoughts?**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Again, thank you so much for your reviews. You guys really make my day with all your comments and suggestions. It means a lot, really.**

**This chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but if I had followed through with my original plan, it would turn out way too long. I hope you enjoy it all the same.**

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Touch

Chapter 9

When they get home, Gina is already there waiting for them. She greets them both enthusiastically and Rick tries really hard to sound cheerful. He had given her a key to the loft just a month before and now he regrets doing it. Of course he had no way of knowing things would work out with Kate back then. In fact, he thought things between them – at least romantically – were doomed when she introduced her cardiac surgeon boyfriend to everyone. But right now, he has no energy to deal with Gina and wishes she had gone home so he would have time to think things through.

She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him down for a kiss. He breaks the kiss after a few seconds. It doesn't feel right anymore. She pulls him down again for another quick peck and rests her head on his chest.

"I've missed you." She tells him and it breaks his heart that he has to lie to her.

"Me too." He says and sees Alexis looking at them from the corner of his eye.

Gina steps back and takes his hand, leading him to the couch.

"So tell me everything. What have I missed while I was gone?" she asks, settling against his side after they have sat on the couch.

He almost laughs at the irony. She has no idea how eventful these past few days have been.

"Not much, really. We stayed home mostly, right, sweetheart?" he looks at Alexis for support.

"Yeah, pretty much. We did a movie marathon and went to see Gram tonight." Alexis says, turning the TV on. "Actually, we had to do two movie marathons because the first one didn't really count. Kate and I fell asleep when we were watching Avatar the first time, right, dad? We didn't even make it to an hour into the movie. It was a bit pathetic." She laughs and Gina laughs with her.

"Who is Kate? A friend from school?" He has to give her points for sounding interested in Alexis' life and hopes against hope that Alexis won't say it was _his _Kate.

"Um… no. Actually, it was Detective Beckett." She says and looks at him apologetically. Oh well, she would find out eventually.

"Oh." Gina looks at him questioningly. "So you're friends with her?" she asks Alexis, but doesn't look away from him.

"Yeah, I guess. She's great and we've been hanging out lately." His daughter answers slowly, looking like she is trying to desperately get out of this conversation. "So, how was the book tour? Dad said something happened and you had to end it sooner than expected?

"Oh, it was a _nightmare_." She says and Castle lets out a sigh, relieved. Gina proceeds to tell them everything that went wrong during the tour and he thanks whatever higher power made her forget about Kate being there, at least for now. He still hasn't figured out how to approach her and say he wants to end things.

God, this is going to be harder than he thought.

* * *

It is happening again. He sees Jerry and himself tied to a chair. What is strange about this, however, is that he can't hear anything. He can see Jerry taunting him, he knows his other self is talking right back, but all he can hear is silence. He starts to panic; it feels like he is drowning somehow. Then he sees Alexis being shot, followed shortly by his mother. He can't move and he can't hear and it feels like everything is happening in slow motion. Once again, he is powerless to stop Jerry from killing them.

Then Kate bursts through the door, flashlight and gun in hand. But she manages to knock Jerry out and immediately starts untying him. She whispers in his ear her relief to find him alive and well and he is so glad he can finally hear again. The cacophony of sounds almost deafens him again because as soon as he hears her voice, he also hears a gunshot echoing in the room. Kate falls in front of him, gasping for breath. He tries to reach for her, but he still can't move. Panic starts taking over. He needs to call an ambulance, they can still save her. She is still breathing and he will not let her die. She can't die. Not now. Not when she is finally his. He tells her to hang in there; he is going to get help somehow. She will be just fine.

Another gunshot echoes in the room and everything turns to black.

* * *

He awakes with a start, gasping for oxygen that doesn't seem to reach his lungs. Looking around disoriented, he doesn't find Kate anywhere and his still fogged mind starts to panic. Gina is still sleeping soundly next to him, completely unaware of his predicament.

He swallows hard, wiping the cold sweat off his forehead. His breathing is still coming out raggedly when he reaches for his phone on the bedside table and hits number three on his speed dial.

Getting out of bed, he walks out of the room. He needs to clear his head and he needs to talk to her right now, make sure she is okay. It was so real. He can still smell her blood and the gunpowder. Please, please let her be okay. Please, God.

When she finally answers, his relief is so great that suddenly he can't stay on his feet anymore and sits on the stairs, his head in his hands.

* * *

"Hello?" she croaks out groggily.

Who the hell is calling her at this ungodly hour for Christ's sake?

"You're okay." His voice immediately wakes her up. He sounds like he has just run a marathon.

"Castle? What… what's wrong? It's four in the morning." She blinks furiously and sits up in bed, trying to stay awake.

"I… I'm sorry. I just…" she waits for him to finish, getting more and more worried by the second. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You're okay, right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. What's wrong? What happened?" she asks, but he stays silent. She waits a beat and then asks again. "Rick?"

"Hey. Yeah, I'm still here, sorry." He sounds a little dazed and confused.

"Was it the nightmare again?" she asks gently and wishes she could be there to hug him and make him feel safe. He is silent for another minute and she waits patiently. He will talk whenever he is ready.

"Yeah." His voice comes out forcefully and she decides not to push him. They don't speak for a few minutes, only taking comfort in each other's breathing. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He says after a while.

"It's okay, don't worry about it." She says softly. "You know you can always count on me."

"I didn't realize it was so late. I just… I panicked." He sighs. "There was so much blood, Kate. I couldn't save you. I couldn't save any of you." He takes a deep breath, trying to steady his voice. "I couldn't do anything. He shot you right in front of me, but you didn't die. You… you were agonizing and I couldn't even move. It was…" his voice breaks and he stops talking for a minute. She knows this is hard for him and he is probably trying to pull himself together. "And then… I'm not sure what happened, but I think he killed me too."

"Jerry?" she asks and her heart breaks for him again when his voice comes out shaky.

"Yeah."

She doesn't know what to do. He is hurting and she can't take the pain away from him. This burden, letting a killer get away, is way too heavy for him to carry. The first time you fail as a cop is always the hardest. But the thing is, he is not a cop. He is a writer who shouldn't have even been there in the first place and now it's tearing him apart.

It's killing her to watch him suffer like this.

"Rick?" she says and he tells her he is still there. "Do you want me to come over?" she asks gently. It's the only she can think of. He needs to be comforted. He needs to hold onto someone who understands.

"You have no idea how much I want that." He says and she starts climbing out of bed. "But Gina is here."

"Oh."

"Maybe I can come over there?" he asks hopefully, but she knows it's a bad idea.

"What would she think if she woke up and you were gone?" she whispers sadly. "You can't do that."

"Guess you're right." He sighs and she wishes so bad she could be there with him to hold him close and chase those nightmares away. "I'm just glad to at least hear your voice." He confesses after a beat. "It was so real, Kate. It had never been like that before. I… My hands are still shaking."

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry." She murmured, the endearment coming out without her consent. "Hey, I can stay with you on the phone until you fall asleep again. What do you think?" she offers.

"I can't go back to my room still talking on the phone. It might wake her up." He says and she feels that pang of jealousy again.

"Go to the living room. You can maybe stay on the couch, how's that?" she suggests and hears him moving around. "Rick?" she asks after a minute.

"Yeah, just trying to get comfortable here." He tells her and she waits for a moment. "It's not the same without you here, you know?" he whispers and she smiles. "I miss you."

"I miss you too." She sighs and lies down on her bed, pushing her comforter up to her chin. "Hey, did Alexis have fun last night?" she asks, trying to make him think about something else.

"She did." She can hear the smile in his voice. "She kept going on and on about how nice it was of you to hang out with her and all. She really likes you, you know?" he says, sleepily.

"Well, the feeling is mutual." She says, fighting a yawn.

"I like you too." He murmurs and she chuckles.

"That feeling is so very mutual too."

He yawns and she can tell he is almost falling asleep.

"Night, Rick." She mumbles groggily.

"Night, love." He whispers and in a few seconds she can hear him breathing deeply and regularly.

She waits another moment, reveling in the fact that he called her love, before finally letting sleep take her under.

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**Review?**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Your reviews are my new drug. The more you give me, the more I crave it. Therefore, tell me what you're thinking about this story and then the faster I'll get new chapters out. **

**Because, you know, I need my fix.**

**Disclaimer: Castle is not mine.**

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**Touch**

**Chapter 10**

When he awakes again, the sun is already high on the sky. He stretches his body and sits up, rubbing his face, trying to chase away any remnants of sleep. He blinks slowly, his mind still foggy, trying to remember how he ended up on the couch when he was sure he had fallen asleep in his room upstairs. Suddenly, he remembers last night's events and shakes his head, feeling a bit stupid and embarrassed. He can't believe he woke her up at 4am because of a nightmare. She didn't seem to mind, though, and he is so grateful that she took it all in stride and forfeited her sleep in order to comfort him.

With a sigh, he reaches for his cell and is surprised that it's already past ten. He also has a new text message.

_Morning__, sunshine. :) –KB_

Instead of texting her back, he hits her speed dial number and waits patiently for her to pick up.

"Beckett." He hears her clipped tone and she sounds like she was in the middle of something.

"Morning." He says, leaning back against the back of the couch.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." The tone of her voice immediately changes and he can almost hear her smile. "Sleep well?" she teases, but he knows that deep down she is asking how he is.

"I did, actually." He smiles and stays silent for a few seconds. "Thank you for last night." He says quietly.

"You don't have to thank me, you know that." She whispers and he hears her move around on her side of the line and then the sound of a door closing. "I wish I could have done more for you." She sighs. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. Slept like a baby after we talked." He stands up, stretching again, and makes his way into the kitchen. There has got to be coffee somewhere in there. "I'm sorry I bothered you so late. I didn't mean to wake you. I guess I wasn't really thinking then and just reacted."

"Rick, come on. You didn't bother me at all." he tries to protest, but she interrupts him. "Don't start." She says and he stays silent. "I'm worried about you. You scared me last night."

"I'll be fine, Kate. Don't worry." He tells her and hears her sigh. "I promise. I just panicked when I woke up and didn't see you here, that's all." He pours himself a cup of coffee.

"Okay." She says, resigned. "You know I'm here if you ever need to talk about anything, right?"

"I know." He smiles and sips his coffee. "Do we have anything going on today?"

"Not really. No bodies yet. Are you still coming in?" she asks and he knows she's trying to sound casual and is ridiculously failing.

"Of course. How else am I going to see you?" he asks quietly and hears her sighing heavily.

"We've talked about this, Rick. Remember our plan to spend some time apart?" she tries to reason with him, but he is having none of it.

"Kate" he says her name quietly. "I need to see you even if it's just to watch you do paperwork." He lets out a sigh, trying to come up with the right words. "I wish you could've been here last night. I _needed_ you here. I understand why you couldn't come, but I still need you now." He finishes in a whisper. "I'll be on my best behavior, I promise." He waits nervously for her response. "I just need to see you."

"Only if you bring me my coffee and bear claw." She agrees after a minute and he laughs. "And for the record? I need to see you too." She whispers softly into the phone and he smiles. He can't believe how far they have come in only a couple of days.

"Yeah?" he asks her and still can't believe that is really Kate Beckett saying she needs to see him in a totally non-professional way.

She giggles. Honest to God _giggles._ "Yes, Rick." He bets she's rolling her eyes. "I miss you and you scared the hell out of me last night. I need to check for myself that you're really okay." She confesses and his smile is so big that he feels it's about to split his face in two.

"I miss you too. I got spoiled, you know? Two nights in a row and then nothing? Not cool, detective. Not cool at all." He grins when he hears her laugh.

"Rick?" he hears Gina's voice and freezes. "Where were you? I woke up and you weren't there. I asked Alexis if she knew anything about you going out and she said she hadn't seen you. Where have you been?" She sounds upset and he can't really think of anything to say.

"Guess you have to go, huh?" Kate says sadly and he realizes he is still holding his phone to his ear.

"I'll be there soon, okay?" he tells her, hoping she will understand why he needs to go now before things get ugly.

"Yeah. I'll see you soon." She replies and hangs up.

"So?" Gina urges him and he tries to smile at her.

"Good morning." He greets her, but apparently she isn't taking any of his crap today.

"What happened last night? I woke up in the middle of the night and you were gone. When I woke up this morning, you were still gone. Where were you?" she complains.

"I…" he takes a deep breath, trying to think quickly. No way in hell he will admit that he had a bad dream and called the woman he is in love with – which by the way, is _not _her – so she could comfort him.

"Did you go out? Was there a murder or something?" she asks, narrowing her eyes at him. God, she is looking at him the exact same way she was last night when Alexis mentioned Kate had come over for a movie.

"No, not really. I just woke up and couldn't sleep anymore so I came down here to watch some TV. I ended up falling asleep on the couch and just got up." He explains and prays that she doesn't ask any more questions.

"Oh." It's all she says.

"Yeah." He leans down and kisses her cheek. "Sorry if I got you worried." He walks around her and makes his way to the stairs. "Are you working today?"

"I have to stop by the office later, but I'll probably be in and out. Why?" she follows him upstairs. "Did you want to do something?"

"No, I was just wondering. I have to go to the precinct, actually. Just got called in." he says over his shoulder, entering the bathroom.

"Oh, so that was Detective Beckett you were talking to just now?" He doesn't like her tone when she mentions Kate's name. He just nods, confirming her suspicions. "You sounded awfully cozy on the phone with her."

He takes a deep breath before turning around to face her.

"Look, we have both been through a really difficult situation just a few days ago. We're just helping each other out. That's all there is to it." He explains, but she just rolls her eyes. "Gina, please. Let's not argue about this."

"Oh, but we have to, Richard. Because, see, I know you have a thing for her and that conversation I just happened to overhear a couple of minutes ago didn't sound like business at all." She hisses at him and he feels like he has just got punched in the stomach. How much did she hear?

"I don't know what you're talking about. I was just calling her back and she asked me to come to the precinct." He tells her slowly, trying to remain calm. The last thing he needs is Gina having a jealous fit.

"Cut the crap, Richard. You know, I thought it was a bit strange when Alexis said she had come over, but I decided to let it go. But the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like she had come over to hang out with _you _and not with Alexis." She says venomously.

"She is my best friend. What's the problem if she comes over sometimes?" he tries to reason with her, but she seems to have drawn her own conclusions.

"It's a problem when you clearly still have feelings for her." He opens his mouth to protest, but she interrupts him. "And don't you even try to deny it because you and I both know it's true."

He opens and closes his mouth, not knowing what to say. Should he deny it or just end this torture?

"That's all I needed to know." She laughs bitterly and he feels so bad that he is hurting her like this. She turns around and walks away.

"Gina…" he starts, but she holds up a hand, stopping him in his tracks.

"Don't!" she all but growls at him. "Your silence said more than enough already."

"I'm sorry." He tries to touch her, but she shies away.

"You know what the irony of this whole thing is? I knew you were head over heels for her from the get go. I've always known it, but when you invited me to the Hamptons this past summer I thought that maybe you had finally had enough of her rejections and that I might still have a chance with you." She shakes her head. "I should've known. We could never make this relationship work, Rick. There is always someone between us. It was Alexis the first time around and now it's your precious detective." She lets out a humorless laugh. "I should've known."

He is at a loss for words. He never thought it would turn out like this. He didn't even have time to think of a good enough excuse to break up with her without mentioning Kate and now it seems life did a complete one-eighty on him. It all happened so fast and out of nowhere that almost gave him a whiplash.

"Gina, please. Hear me out." He grabs her wrist, but she yanks it away. "I never meant to hurt you, I swear. Please, forgive me." He tries to convey in a few words that he is being completely honest with her, but she won't even look at him.

"Don't come crawling back to me when she rejects you again." She says quietly and it kills him that he can hear her voice shaking. He tries to think of something, anything, to say, but his mind is drawing a complete blank.

He watches her walk away, still confused about how this whole thing turned out. When the front door slams downstairs, he lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. On the one hand, it's killing him that things had to end like this between them. On the other hand, however, he is so incredibly relieved.

One down, one to go.

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**Thoughts?**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Once again, thank you so much for all your reviews. The response to this story is still overwhelming.**

**Disclaimer: Castle is not mine.**

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**Touch**

**Chapter 11**

She leaves the break room with a cup of coffee in hand. She doesn't like this jealousy that is rearing its ugly head in her mind. He does not belong to her. Gina had every right to be upset that her boyfriend disappeared in the middle of the night, leaving her alone in bed. If she was in her shoes, she would have felt the exact same way.

She can't help feeling jealous, though. She wants him to be hers. She needs him. He somehow managed to break down all her walls in only a few days. That fortress around her heart was torn down, piece by piece. She marvels at the fact that it has only been four days since the Triple Killer. _Four_. Only two days since they kissed the first time. It's nothing short of amazing how far they have come in only two days. She went from denying fiercely that she had any sort of romantic feelings for Castle to needing him with a strength that is seriously scaring her.

How did they get from being perfectly content in their respective relationships to needing each other in the most primal way possible in such a short time?

She craved his touch. She couldn't get enough of it. Now she knows why her instincts made her avoid any kind of connection with Castle in the past. She had no idea it would be like this, that the gravity pulling them together would be so strong, to the point that she couldn't keep her hands to herself. That was why she had told him they should try and spend some time apart. She knows that if they end up alone together they will give in to temptation and she doesn't want to cross that line yet. She _does_ want to, but not while Josh and Gina are still in the picture.

She knows she would be delusional to think that what they have been doing isn't considered cheating. She just doesn't want to make things worse. She already feels bad enough as it is. The first chance she gets, she will corner Josh and talk things out with him. She is still not sure on how to bring up the subject, though. After all, how do you break up with someone who clearly cares about you and thinks you reciprocate the feeling? In these past few days, she has thought about every possible scenario and nothing feels right.

Well, deep down she knows it doesn't feel right because everything about what they are doing is wrong. But then again, it feels _so right_.

Great, the 15-year-old with her first crush is back.

But that's just the thing, isn't it? He makes her feel like a girl, butterflies in her stomach and all. They saw each other twelve hours ago and she already misses him. How pathetic is that?

Her phone vibrates in her pocket, pulling her out of her reverie.

_Running a bit late. Something came up at home. I'll be there in about an hour.__ –RC_

She frowns, biting her lip.

_Is everything ok?_ She texts back. Not even a minute passes by before her phone chimes again.

_Yeah. We'll talk about it when I get there. It's good news, though. Sort of. Don't worry that pretty little head of yours. ;) _

She smiles and rolls her eyes.

_Ok, writer boy. I'll see you soon._

"Hey, boss?" she hears Esposito's voice and turns around.

"Hey, what's up?" she asks, sitting on her desk.

"Well, Kev and I were thinking and we never got to go out and debrief after the whole Triple Killer fiasco. So we're going out for drinks later, if no bodies drop. You in?"

"Definitely!" she grins at him.

"Great. Where's Castle? Is he coming in today?" he asks and she looks down at her phone, Rick's text still showing on the screen.

"Yeah, I think so." She replies casually.

"Awesome. I think he and Kev are the ones who need it the most. I already talked to Lanie and she's in too."

"Okay, just let me know the time and place and I'll be there." She nods.

"Sure. You can bring your doctor boyfriend if you want. I promise we'll all behave in front of him." He grins at her, his eyes full of mischief telling her another story.

"Thanks, but I think he's working tonight." She laughs and he walks away.

That's when she realizes she hasn't talked to Josh at all since she left the café yesterday morning. Maybe she should ask him to get some lunch tomorrow. Maybe that's enough time to find her courage to do what must be done.

Yeah, tomorrow will work.

It has to.

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It's over an hour later when he finally arrives. She is concentrated, actually filling out some paperwork for a change, when she hears him whispering in her ear.

"Good morning, Detective Beckett."

Her first reaction is to jump about a foot in the air, startled. The second is to break out in goose bumps because his lips are so close to her ear. The third is to turn around and try to glare at him.

"Seriously, Castle? Heart attack here. God!" she says, her hand on her chest, trying to calm her racing heart. He laughs, setting her cup of coffee and bear claw on her desk before taking a seat.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." He grins and she doesn't believe a word he says.

"Of course you didn't." she glares at him and takes a sip of her coffee. "Thanks for my very late breakfast, though." She gives him a small smile.

"I live to serve, my lady." He takes a bow and she rolls her eyes. "So… do we have anything interesting to do at all?"

"Nope. It's been a rather dull morning so far." She says and looks around, checking if there is anyone nearby. "Is everything okay? You said something happened earlier." She asks him quietly.

"Yeah…" he also looks around and – seemingly satisfied that Ryan and Esposito were in the break room and they were pretty much alone in the bullpen – scoots his chair closer to her and leans in. "Gina kind of broke up with me."

Kate chokes on her coffee and looks at him wide-eyed.

"Wait, what?" she spurts out, trying to catch her breath. "Why?"

He scratches the back of his head sheepishly.

"She overheard me talking to you earlier." He says with a grimace. "And Alexis kind of let slip out that you came over this weekend. So I guess she put two and two together…" he trails off.

"Wow. I'm sorry?"

She is not really sure what to say and it comes out more like a question. The butterflies are back with a vengeance, though. Gina is out of the way. He did it. For _her._ That is kind of huge, isn't it? They are really going to do this.

"I was going to say it's not your fault, but it would be a lie. But it's good, though, right?" he whispers and she smiles when he starts to reach out to touch her hand, but stops halfway.

"I guess. I just…" she bites down on her bottom lip, trying to think of the right thing to say. "I feel bad for her, really. I mean, part of me is relieved. That's half of the problem out of the way. But still, she didn't deserve that." She sighs, running a hand through her hair. "I didn't want anyone to get hurt in this mess."

"Yeah…" he nods, taking a bite of her bear claw, to which she slaps his hand with a glare. "I can't say it was one of my proudest moments. It happened so fast. I thought I had it all covered after I explained why I wasn't in bed this morning. Then, the next thing I know, she's accusing me of having feelings for you and that she was done."

"Guess it wasn't amicable, then, huh?" she asks and he shakes his head. "Is that going to interfere with your work? I mean, she's your publisher."

"I don't know. I hope not. It didn't the first time." He rubs his face and looks up at her with a small smile. "That's one step in the right direction for us, though."

She smiles back and refrains from touching his hand that is resting on her desk. "Yes, it is." She nods and bites on her lip again. "I'm talking to Josh tomorrow. Or at least, I hope I can talk to him tomorrow and sort this mess out once and for all."

He nods and gives her hand a reassuring squeeze, after checking once more they were still relatively alone.

"See, I told you everything would work out." He tells her with a boyish grin and she fights the urge to lean in and place a quick peck on his lips. Really, this magnetism between them is getting downright ridiculous.

"I believe I was the one who said that, writer boy. Don't try to steal my lines." She smirks as he waves his hand at her in dismissal. "Oh, by the way, we're all going out for drinks later. Debriefing from the triple killer case. Do you want to come with us?"

"And spend some more time with you? Do you really have to ask?" he winks at her and she rolls her eyes, but smiles, pleased, all the same.

"Same rules apply, though. No touching."

"A bit harsh, but I can handle it." He grabs her bear claw again and takes another bite, leaning back on his chair. "It's a date, detective."

* * *

They go to a pub a few blocks away from the precinct. It's crowded and loud and they are having a blast. They are in their third round when Kate feels his thigh touching hers. She looks at him, but he is laughing at something Esposito said and doesn't acknowledge – or pretends not to – their first contact since he squeezed her hand this morning. She tries not to let it get to her, but it proves to be really distracting. Her body reacts to his mere touch in a way that it never has before.

She takes a deep breath and a long swing of her beer to cool down. She has got to control herself, honestly! She is feeling like a teenager again with all those crazy hormones running through her system and that makes her feel a little ridiculous. It has never been like this. As cliché as it may sound, she feels like she is constantly playing with fire when he is around.

A few minutes go by and he puts his arm around her chair. He doesn't touch her, but she can feel the heat from his arm and it has almost the same effect. She tries to pay attention to a story Lanie is telling the group, but her mind is working toward one specific direction and she is trying really hard to not reach out and give him the same treatment he is giving her. How dare he torture her like that? He _must_ know the effect he is having on her.

She sneaks a glance at him and he winks at her. She tries to glare at him, but fails. He sees something in her eyes, though, because his eyes darken and he is suddenly looking at her intensely and it's all she can do to refrain from jumping him then and there.

She takes another long swing of beer and excuses herself to go to the ladies room. Taking a deep breath, she tries to get her body under control. What the hell is happening to her? Maybe the alcohol is lowering her inhibitions, she thinks to herself. That doesn't make sense because she has always been able to hold her liquor pretty well and she has only had three beers. She is feeling slightly – emphasis on slightly – buzzed, but she is nowhere near drunk. What is it about him that makes her feel like that?

She nearly jumps out of her skin when she feels someone grabbing her arm and starting to lead her in a different direction. When she looks up, she is relieved to see it's him, but confused as to what the hell he is doing.

"Rick, what the hell?" she says, but he shushes her. "What are you doing? Where are we going?" she asks, confused as he opens a back door and leads her outside.

They are in a dark, deserted alleyway and he finally releases her arm, only to back her up against a wall, his hands on each side of her head.

"I had to touch you somehow." He breathes into her ear, lowering his mouth to her earlobe. "You're driving me crazy here, Kate." He sucks her earlobe into his mouth and she lets out an involuntary moan.

"This is completely breaking the rules, you know?" she whispers breathlessly.

"Screw the rules." He says and then his lips are working on hers furiously.

She moans against his lips and her body feels like it's about to spontaneously combust. One of his arms encircles her waist and pulls her closer until she is pressed tightly against him. Her arms immediately wrap around his neck to pull him closer and she can feel just how much she is affecting him when he presses her against the wall. Their tongues duel fiercely for domination and she is slightly dizzy from oxygen deprivation and all those tingly feelings running through her body. Her lower abdomen contracts and she feels the heat increasing between her legs. They have got to stop before she has to arrest them both for indecent behavior in public.

And then he pushes her legs apart with his knee, pressing against her core with his thigh and she thinks she is about to pass out from all the heat. He breaks the kiss and starts working on her neck, placing butterfly kisses on her skin. She runs her hands through his hair and tries to pull herself together, but he is making it very difficult, as her hips start to move against his thigh involuntarily, creating this delicious friction.

She pulls him back to her, blindingly searching his lips with her own, until they crash together in a battle of tongue and teeth. He lets out a growl from the back of his throat when she presses harder against him, which only makes him press her ever harder against the wall. All thought has left her mind and she can only feel. His hand is exploring her body and it feels like he is touching her everywhere at once. When he brushes a thumb against her nipple, she arches against him, seeking more. He flicks it with his thumb playfully and she can't stop the moan that escapes her mouth. When he grins against her lips, she breaks the kiss and sucks on his neck, searching for his pulse point and is satisfied when he lets out a low moan.

Her hands are doing a bit of exploring of their own and she pulls his shirt out of his pants and touches his warm skin. Her other hand makes its way south and touches the bulge in his pants, which he rewards her with a growl. Her hand is on his zipper, ready to pull it down, when her phone rings and vibrates in her back pocket.

Reality comes crashing down and they break apart. She is breathless and tries to pull herself together before looking at the caller id. Rick is breathing hard, his forehead resting on her shoulder and his arms still loosely wrapped around her waist. She fights that guilty feeling when she sees Josh's name on her screen.

"Hello?" she says, hoping she doesn't sound breathless. Rick gives her a quick peck on the lips and she gives him a small smile. His lips are swollen and his hair in a total mess and it was all her handy work that did that, she thinks with a proud grin on her lips.

"Hey, you still working?" Josh asks and she is tempted to lie.

"No, we all came to this bar near the precinct for a few drinks. I'm heading home soon. It's been a long day." She tells him, finding Rick's hand with her own and lacing their fingers together.

"Oh, okay. I'm about scrub in on a surgery, but I was wondering if you wanted to do something tomorrow? I miss you, you know?" he tells her and she feels so bad that he has no idea that she wants to break up with him.

"Yeah, I've been meaning to call you all day to see if you wanted to have lunch tomorrow."

"Sure. One o'clock, our usual place?" he says and she can almost hear his smile. God, she is going to break his heart.

"It's a date."

"Okay, great. I gotta go. See you tomorrow, babe."

He hangs up and she sighs, resting her head on the crook of Rick's neck. He holds her close and kisses the top of her head.

"I'm guessing that was Josh?" he asks her and she nods.

"Yeah." She sighs again before hugging him back, her arms around his waist. "He has no idea what is going on. I feel so bad that I'm going to inevitably hurt him." She whispers, looking up at him.

"I know what you mean. It can't possibly be any worse than me and Gina, though. She found out in the worst way possible and it's killing me." He smiles sadly at her and she touches his cheek.

"I'm sorry." She murmurs, tracing his swollen lips with her thumb, smiling when he kisses it.

"It was going to happen eventually. I just wish it wasn't like that, you know? Hopefully, you'll have better luck with Josh. At least he won't overhear a phone call or catch us in a compromising position."

"You mean like now?" she chuckles and he grins at her. "You know, if he hadn't called, I would probably have to arrest us both for indecent exposure." She says and his grin gets even wider.

"I couldn't control myself. I want you so bad, Kate." He nuzzles against her neck and sucks on it gently. "So bad."

"Trust me, the feeling is mutual." She tilts her head, giving him better access. She allows herself to enjoy the feeling for a few seconds before pulling his mouth to hers for a kiss. Her tongue plays with his for a moment, the heat increasing immediately. She pulls away reluctantly after a minute. "We should go back inside. They're probably wondering where we are. What did you say you were going to do?"

"Bathroom too." He says and leans in to suck on her bottom lip.

"You should probably go there, anyway. You're a mess." She smirks at him and he laughs, kissing her again.

"So are you, detective. I have to say I did a really good job on you." He winks at her with a smirk of his own and she slaps his chest.

"Shut up." She laces her fingers with his again and leads him back into the pub.

Little did they know that only a minute before someone was watching them through the half open door.

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**Thoughts?**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Have I mentioned how awesome you guys are? **

**Disclaimer: Do not own Castle**

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**Touch**

**Chapter 12**

When they leave the pub, it's already past 1am. Kate is a little surprised to see that Lanie and Esposito are leaving together. He claims he is only giving her a ride home, but she knows better; she has been watching them exchange those looks all night. Not that she and Rick have been any different, but she likes to think that they were at least a bit more discreet than their friends. Earlier, when they came back to their table after making out like teenagers in the alley behind the pub, they behaved like absolutely nothing had happened. Sure, his hair was a bit disheveled and her lips were swollen from the intense kissing, but she counted on the dimly lit room to cover any evidence of their previous activities.

After Lanie and Esposito have left, Ryan offers to give Rick a ride, but he declines, saying that Kate has already offered to give him a ride home. The young detective shrugs and waves goodbye at them, walking away to find his car. Kate turns to him, eyebrow raised.

"Who said anything about a ride home, Castle?" she smirks at him and he takes her hand, leading her to her car.

"Please?" he looks at her with that puppy dog look that he knows full well works like a charm on her.

She rolls her eyes and fishes her keys out of her coat pocket.

"Fine, whatever." She unlocks the car and walks over to the driver's side. "No touching, though." She warns him when she sees him reaching out to her, after they're settled in the car.

He touches her, anyway.

"This is completely innocent touching, detective. I promise it will stay that way." He grins at her, his eyes sparkling with mischief. She smiles to herself, but doesn't say anything. "See, I knew you wanted it too." He caresses the back of her neck and she sighs contently.

"Shut up." She says with a laugh. They stay silent for a while, just enjoying each other's company. "We're terrible at this staying apart thing, aren't we?" she comments when they're turning the corner on his street.

He laughs and takes her hand in his after she has parked in front of his building.

"Yeah, well, I can't really complain." He brings her hand up to his lips and gives it a soft kiss. "I don't want to stay away from you. I don't know how we managed to stay away from each other for almost three years, to be honest."

She smiles and reaches out to brush his hair away from his forehead, her hand lingering on his cheek. "Me either." She says quietly and traces his bottom lip with her thumb. "Can you believe it's only been two days?" she asks and he kisses her thumb.

"Since you attacked me in the break room?" he says with a smirk and she slaps his arm.

"I did no such thing. You were the one teasing me with those infuriating little touches and kisses. What did you expect?" she accuses and he pulls her to him, effectively silencing her with a kiss.

"I'm very glad you did." He tells her when they break the kiss and she smiles. "Do you want to come up for a bit?" he asks, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Very tempting, but I should go home." She bites on her bottom lip for a beat. "I don't trust us alone anymore. Not until this is all sorted out."

He chuckles and nods, agreeing with her, but presses on anyway. "You sure?"

"Yes, stop tempting me!" She exclaims with a laugh. "I don't think we will be able to stop like we did earlier tonight. I won't _want_ to stop." She admits and he smiles at her.

"Okay. I don't like it, but I get it." He says, leaning in to kiss her again. "I'll see you tomorrow?" she nods and he gives her one last kiss. "Goodnight, love." He whispers in her ear and unbuckles his seat belt.

She grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him back to her, kissing him thoroughly. Sucking on his bottom lip, she finally releases him with a grin playing on her lips. "Night, Castle." She whispers and he grins at her wickedly.

"Are you _sure_ you don't want to come up for a minute?" he insists and she shakes her head, laughing.

"Yes, I'm sure. Go. Sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You're no fun." He mumbles, pouting like a little boy. She pulls him back to her and gives him a quick kiss.

"Trust me, it'll be worth it." She whispers in his ear and smiles, pleased, when his skin breaks out in goose bumps.

"Oh, detective, you're playing with fire here." He teases her and she laughs.

"Don't I know it." She says with a sigh. "Bye, Rick." He just keeps smiling at her and she rolls her eyes. "Out." She laughs when he pouts at her again. Leaning in, she places a kiss on his cheek and opens his door. "Go. Now."

He gets out of the car and walks around the vehicle, stopping by her window. She lowers the glass and raises an eyebrow at him.

"Thank you for everything, Kate." He says seriously and she is surprised by the sudden mood change. He leans down and kisses her jaw, tenderly. "I mean it."

"You don't have to thank me. You know I'm here for you, no matter what." She says quietly and he nods. "Night, Rick." She gives him a small smile.

"Night." He whispers and walks into his building.

* * *

Kate wakes up with a gasp. She blinks furiously at the sunlight streaming through the open curtains, feeling a little disoriented. Her breathing is shallow and her heart is racing, but she can't remember why she is feeling like this. She was dreaming. Someone was shot, she thinks. Whatever it was, it must have been pretty scary, judging by her reaction, and she is glad she can't remember.

She sits up with a yawn, stretching her arms above her head. It's a little after seven and she needs to be at the precinct by 8 o'clock. Great. She walks into the bathroom, rubbing at her eyes sleepily. She really needs a day off to catch up on sleep. At the rate she is going, she will end up collapsing from exhaustion. She looks at her reflection in the mirror with bleary eyes while she is brushing her teeth and freezes when she notices something different. What the _hell_ is that on her neck? Oh, she is going to _kill_ him!

Marching back to her bedroom, she finds her cell phone and hits his speed dial number, tapping her foot impatiently. After the fifth ring, he answers.

"Hello?" he mumbles into the phone sleepily and she smiles.

"Morning." She says cheerfully.

"Kate, hi." He says, still groggy. "Everything okay? Do we have a body?" She can tell he is probably sitting up in bed, getting ready to leave in case she needs him.

"Nope." She says, ending it with a popping sound.

"What's wrong, then? It's too early." He croaks out and yawns.

"You left me a little present last night, Mr. Castle." She accuses him.

"Present? What are you talking about?" He is so adorable when he is all confused, she thinks with a smile.

"On my neck, Castle." She almost growled into the phone. He is silent for a moment, probably trying to understand what she has just said.

"Oh." He finally says as it all becomes clear to him. "Oops?" he offers and she can almost picture him flinching as if she is about to strike him with something.

"You're lucky it's cold enough out there to wear a turtleneck." She tells him threateningly.

"I'm sorry, Kate." He says seriously and she decides to let him off the hook.

"Don't worry about it. As long as I can hide it, we're good. Let's just be careful next time, okay?" she says softly.

"Yes, ma'am." He says, yawning again. "Still no bodies?"

"Nope."

"Can I go back to sleep, then?" he mumbles and she can picture him getting comfortable under the covers again.

"Yeah, sleepyhead." She chuckles when he yawns yet again.

"Mmkay."

"Hey, Rick?"

"Yeah?" he replies sleepily.

"Did you sleep okay?" she asks, concerned.

"Like a baby." He says and she smiles, relieved. "Wish you were here, though."

"Me too." She says quietly. "I'll see you later."

"Mmkay. Bye, Kate."

* * *

After taking a quick shower, she gets ready for work as fast as she can. The fact that she is a little hung over only makes her life harder this morning. She leaves without drinking her first cup of coffee and when she arrives at the precinct, the caffeine headache is starting to set in. She leaves her purse and coat at her desk and makes her way to the break room to get a cup of coffee. When she is taking the first sip – which honestly feels like a slice of heaven in her decaffeinated state of mind – her phone rings and she is surprised to see it's Lanie.

The medical examiner asks her to come down to the morgue for a minute and Kate finds it weird because they don't have any cases. Unless Lanie wants to talk about her sordid affair with Esposito, which Kate is dying to hear. That was something she really didn't see coming, she thinks as she takes the elevator.

With a smile, she enters the morgue to find her friend sitting on one of the tables, drinking coffee.

"Hey, Lanie." She greets her, hopping up on the table facing her friend.

"Morning, detective." She says with a knowing smile and Kate's smile falters. What is she up to?

"So what's up?" Kate takes a sip of her coffee apprehensively.

"Not much, just thought we could have some coffee, catch up. It's been so slow these past few days, right?" Lanie comments nonchalantly.

"Tell me about it." She sighs. "I'm about to die from boredom."

"Yeah… so did you have fun last night?" her friend asks and Kate tries to determine what exactly she is fishing for here.

"Yeah, I guess we all needed that bit of distraction, really. Especially Castle. He's taken it pretty hard, this triple killer case."

"And you've been helping him?" Lanie asks interestedly.

"Sure, I mean…" she trails off, her mind going back to when he called in the middle of the night, terrified because of a nightmare. She wishes she could do more to help him. "There isn't much I can do, really." She says with a sigh, looking down at her empty cup of coffee. "He'll be okay eventually. I hope. Why do you ask?"

"Well…" she drawls out. "I saw something pretty interesting last night." She smirks, her eyes full of humor.

"Yeah? I saw something pretty interesting last night as well." Kate smirks back. Two can play this game.

"Really? Care to share?" Lanie raises an eyebrow at her and she grins.

"You and Esposito looked awfully cozy."

Lanie opens her mouth to retort, but nothing comes out.

"I knew it." Kate laughs and Lanie throws a napkin at her, blushing.

"We're not talking about me here, detective. We're talking about you and Castle."

"Oh, I thought we were talking about something interesting you saw last night." Kate comments with a grin.

"Oh, I did see something very, _very_ interesting. I was on my way to the ladies room and saw that the back door of the pub was open. Since it was making that particular hall really chilly, I decided to close it. That was when I heard voices. Familiar voices. Very familiar voices." Her grin grows exponentially as Kate looks at her, surprised. "So I thought to myself, what are these two doing out there in the cold? So I opened the door just a tiny little bit and, boy, was it enough to understand exactly what you two were doing out there!" She finishes with a laugh as Kate looks at her, horrified.

She opens her mouth once, twice, but nothing comes out. She can feel the heat spreading from her neck up and she knows she is blushing furiously. God, how could they have been so careless? It's all his fault, really. He was the one who dragged her out there. She is going to kill him! As if the hickey wasn't enough, she thinks, touching her neck unconsciously.

When she doesn't say anything after a couple of minutes, Lanie hops down from her table and walks over to her.

"Honey, it's okay." She squeezes Kate's hand reassuringly. "Hey, I was just teasing. I'm not judging you here. In fact, I'm beyond thrilled that you two finally got your acts together and did something about it." She smiles at her and Kate manages to give her a small smile.

"This whole thing is a mess, Lanie." She sighs and looks down at her hands.

"You like him, though, don't you?" she asks gently and Kate nods.

"So much it's starting to scare me." She says quietly. "I think… I think I'm falling for him and I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

"We're never ready, Kate, and that's what's so great about falling in love, isn't it?" Lanie tells her and she shrugs. "How long has this been going on? I want all the juicy details!" she says excitedly and Kate can't help but laugh.

"Not long, really. It kind of started after the Triple Killer. That same night, actually." She confides and Lanie grins.

"Girl, you've been holding out on me!"

"Not really. The first time we kissed was only three days ago." She says and Lanie frowns. "It feels like much longer…" she says, more to herself than to her friend. "So much has happened in these past three days, you have no idea."

"Do tell!" Lanie says and sits on the table next to her.

"He broke up with Gina already." She says quietly, biting on her bottom lip.

"Honey, he's crazy about you. I'd be surprised if he hadn't." Lanie points out and Kate smiles.

"Yeah. I'm talking to Josh later today. It's been killing me that we've been sneaking around. I hate that. You know I don't do cheating." She says and Lanie nods, urging her to go on. "But with Rick… I can't even explain. It's like it's stronger than me. Stronger than us." She sighs and Lanie touches her hand encouragingly.

"Kate, you know I'm with you whatever you decide to do. But I have to say I'm really happy for you guys. I would be happier if you guys had gotten together two weeks ago because I would have made some sweet cash off those stupid detectives up there." She says and Kate laughs. "But, honestly, girl, took you guys long enough!" she exclaims and Kate smiles.

"This can't get out, though." She warns her friend. "We want to keep it between us for now."

"My lips are sealed." Lanie promises and Kate nods.

"So… you and Esposito, huh? Do I have to go and have that talk with him?" she teases and listens closely to Lanie's story.

It feels like half the world has been lifted from her shoulders.

* * *

**Thoughts?**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I am so so sorry for taking so long to update. Real life got in the way and I was super busy at work and then spent the weekend out of town. If it wasn't for Carolina17 pestering me to write and all the PMs I got asking for an update, I probably would have held this off until the weekend. But hey, you guys managed to convince me.**

**Thank you so much for all your reviews and amazing feedback. Your encouragement just makes me want to try even harder to be a better writer.**

**I'm sad to announce this story is soon coming to an end. We have one, maybe two chapters left. It has been one hell of a ride, guys. And it was all thanks to you.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Castle. Unfortunately.**

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**Touch**

**Chapter 13**

Castle shuffles out of bed sometime after 10am. He is surprised when he checks his phone and sees the time; he didn't mean to sleep in until this late. He is grateful and relieved, though, that he managed to sleep through the night for the first time since the Triple Killer happened. No more terrifyingly realistic dreams to make him wake up in the middle of the night, scared that something might have happened to his three girls.

With a yawn, he makes his way into the bathroom for a quick shower. He finds it strange that Kate hasn't called him for a case yet. Things have been slow for the past few days. Not that he is complaining. It was exactly the time he needed to recover from the latest trauma.

When he finally finishes getting dressed, he texts Kate to let her know he is on his way. He is trying to dry his hair with a towel when she texts back, saying she is at the morgue with Lanie, and he wonders if they are in the middle of girl talk, since they don't really have a case. Maybe Lanie is telling her all about her sordid affair with Esposito, he thinks with a smirk. They thought they were being all coy last night, but he noticed it. It was downright impossible to not notice the eye sex going on across the table between the medical examiner and Detective Esposito.

They really need to learn a thing or two about being discreet with him and Kate. In the past few days, they became masters in the art of playing cool. Hopefully that will end soon. All this sneaking around is not doing them any good. He knows Kate is extremely bothered by it and he is trying his best not to make things worse. He tried to keep his distance last night, but it came to a point that he had to do something about it or he would simply explode. The need to be near her, to touch her, was becoming unbearable. Right now, just thinking about it, he can feel his fingertips tingling, aching to touch her warm skin.

Incredible, he thinks, how this raw need and desire have overcome their willpower. And all it took was letting their guard down and giving in to the first touch. After that he couldn't stop anymore. He can't. He doesn't want to. He can't wait to feel all of her, to touch her everywhere, to feel her naked skin against his.

He doesn't want to pressure her about breaking up with motorcycle boy, but he really, really hopes she does it today. He doesn't know how much longer he can wait without breaking their unspoken rule.

Grabbing his keys and wallet, he closes the door behind him and heads outside to catch a cab. He asks the driver to take him to a café near the precinct to grab Kate's coffee and bear claw and then heads to the morgue, hoping he is not going to have his head bitten off for interrupting their girl talk.

When he opens the door to the sterile room, he sees Kate and Lanie sitting on one of the tables talking quietly. He clears his throat to announce his presence and they turn to him, startled.

"Really, Castle, what's with you and giving me a heart attack every morning?" Kate says with a hand to her chest. He grins at her and shrugs, choosing to remain silent. "What are you doing here?" she asks softly, accepting the coffee and bear claw he hands her.

"Good morning to you too, Detective." He touches her arm gently and smirks when she closes her eyes at his touch. "Dr. Parish." He nods at Lanie with a playful smile.

"Mr. Castle." Lanie grins at him and he can tell she knows something.

"Thanks for the coffee." Kate tells him after taking a sip.

"My pleasure." He smiles at her warmly.

She puts both items on the table and turns to him with a look in her eyes he can't quite decipher. Then the next thing he knows, she has got his nose between her strong fingers and, God, it hurts.

"Ow! Kate, what the hell? Apples! Apples!" She lets him go and he massages his tender nose gently. "Jeez, woman, what's gotten into you? What did I do this time?" he pouts and she rolls her eyes at him.

"That was for being stupid and careless last night." She glares at him, but he can see that spark of mischief in her eyes. He looks at her, unsure of what to say in front of Lanie.

"What… what are you talking about?" he looks at her meaningfully, trying to ask silently what's going on.

"When you dragged me outside the pub last night and gave me this…" she pushes away the turtleneck, exposing his little present.

"Whoa." He interrupts her, brushing her hair aside before touching her neck. "Damn, I did a good job." He grins at her, but she gives him a death glare that has him fumbling with his words. "I mean, I'm sorry. I… I didn't mean to do that."

"You're lucky it was easy to hide, Castle. Otherwise, you'd be a dead man by now." She starts off seriously, but can't hide her smile in the end. He winks at her with a smile, his hand resting on her arm, after trailing down from her neck. She closes her eyes for a moment and he fights the urge to lean down and kiss her. "Anyway, while we were _busy_, someone saw us and it was all your fault." She tells him, but her small smile lets him know she is not mad at him. Not anymore, at least.

"I'm assuming that someone was our good Dr. Parish here." He says slowly.

"One hell of a show you guys were putting on last night, Castle." Lanie smirks at him and he grins at her proudly.

"I'm glad to be of service." He winks at her and Kate slaps his arm.

"You're missing the point here, Castle." She says exasperated and he grabs her hand, giving it a soft kiss that disarms her and she smiles.

"And the point is?"

"It could've been anyone!" she exclaims and realization finally dawns on him. "Thank God it was Lanie, but what if it was someone else? The paparazzi, for example? You're a celebrity."

"You're right. I'm sorry." He sighs and looks down, but she reaches out and touches his cheek softly. He is surprised she is allowing this much physical contact with Lanie in the room. Maybe she is just relieved she doesn't have to hide it from her friend anymore.

"We've got to be more careful, Rick." She says quietly and he nods, taking her hand in his and kissing it again. "We agreed to keep it quiet, remember? At least for a little while."

"I know. We got a little carried away last night, I guess. I couldn't control it." He whispers and wishes they were alone so he could kiss her properly. "If I kiss you right now, what are the odds of either of you hurting me?" he asks her with a small grin. "I promise to keep it very PG-13."

Kate rolls her eyes at him and Lanie nods at him with a grin and he understands it as their green light. Touching her cheek, he leans down and kisses her gently, feeling her lips turn up in a smile. She sighs happily and he tries to deepen it, but she only allows their tongues to touch for barely a second before pulling away.

"Hi." She whispers, smiling at up at him. He leans in and gives him a quick peck on the lips.

"Hi, yourself." He smiles back, lacing his fingers with hers.

"God, you guys are so nauseatingly sweet that my teeth might start to rotten and fall off any second now." Lanie interrupts with a laugh.

"Shut up, Lanie." Kate laughs and rests her head on his chest.

"Now, Mr. Castle, I'm really happy for you two and you have my blessing, but if you ever, _ever _hurt my girl here, I'll hunt you down and shoot your stupid ass. Trust me, they will never find your body." She warns him and he grins at her, running his fingers through Kate's hair.

"Don't worry, Dr. Parish. I will never intentionally hurt her, I swear." He promises seriously and Lanie nods at him.

"Good, I'm glad we sorted that out." She smiles at them.

"So… how about you and Esposito, huh?" he quips and her eyes widen. Kate tries to stifle her laugh against his chest.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Castle." She says and turns away from them.

"Oh, come on, Lanie. You know all about us, it's only fair you share a bit about your sordid affair with my boy Javi." He grins at her and she rolls her eyes at him.

"It's _not _a sordid affair!" she defends herself and Castle gives her a wicked grin.

"Ha! But it is an affair, isn't it? Come on, dish. I promise I won't tell anyone." He gives her the puppy dog eyes and she looks at Kate for help.

"Don't look at me, I didn't tell him anything. And you know how annoying he can be when he wants to know something." Kate says and he gives her a wounded look. "You might as well tell him.

When Lanie lets out a sigh and sits back on the table, he knows he has won.

* * *

A couple of hours later, Kate is on her way to meet Josh. After Lanie confessed that she was indeed seeing Detective Esposito, they talked for a little while longer, before heading back to the bullpen. She gave Javi a knowing look and he looked at her confused, which just made her laugh.

She tried to catch up on paperwork, but she couldn't concentrate. Castle was there and she could feel him looking at her, making her skin tingle in anticipation. When 12:30 rolled around, she told him quietly that she was going to meet Josh. He nodded seriously and walked with her to the elevator. She could tell he was refraining to touch her in anyway, and that just made her want it even more. He told her he would hang around with the boys for a while and then head home to try and get some writing done.

And now that she is finally on her way to do something that has been eating her alive, she is incredibly nervous. It has been almost a week and she still has no idea how she is going to do this. Josh is such a nice guy and he seems to genuinely like her. It tears at her heart that she is going to hurt him.

It has to be done, though. She can't take this anymore. All this lying and sneaking around, it's not her. She hates it. And then there's the fact that she knows she can't resist Rick for much longer and she doesn't want to cross that line with him until they are both free. Last night was difficult enough to stop. If Josh hadn't called when he did, she is sure they would have had sex right there in that alley, damn the consequences.

That is the effect he has on her. She has absolutely no self control when it comes to him.

She arrives at the restaurant and he is not there yet. She asks for a table for two and orders a Coke, trying to distract herself. Maybe she should rehearse the words in her mind, she thinks. But she still doesn't know how to bring it up. This is going to be so out of the blue for him.

She takes a sip of her Coke and runs a hand through her hair nervously. She wishes he would get there already so she can finish this. Just as she thinks that, she sees him walking through the entrance. She tries to put on a smile and waves at him. He smiles back at her, happily, and her heart breaks for what she is about to do to him. He arrives at their table and leans down to kiss her, but she turns her cheek at the last second.

Ironically enough, she feels like she would be cheating on Rick if she let Josh kiss her. How messed up is her mind, anyway?

He smiles at her and sits down, asking her how she is doing. She says she is fine and he tells he has missed her and immediately launches into a story about something that happened at the hospital. She listens for a couple of minutes, trying to get the nerve to interrupt him and do it already.

Fifteen minutes later, he suggests that they should have dinner tonight and she realizes that's her cue to do what she has to do.

"Actually, Josh… I wanted to talk to you about something." She interrupts, almost grimacing at what she would have to say next.

"Oh." He says, confused at the sudden mood change. "Is everything okay, babe?"

"Yeah, I just…" she takes a deep breath and steels herself. "I don't think we should see each other anymore." She says quickly and he looks at her, taken aback.

"What? Why?" He looks so surprised and she bites on her bottom lip, nervously.

"I just think that we're in different places at the moment." She says and reaches out to touch his hand. "I like you, Josh. I really do, you're a great guy. This is just not what I need right now." She tries to say as gently as possible and she suddenly has a déjà vu. Six months ago, she was saying pretty much the same thing to Tom.

"But I thought we were doing great, Kate. I care about you a lot, why don't you give us a chance?" he tries to convince her and she feels like crying. God, please don't make this more difficult than it already is.

"I can't, I'm sorry. It wouldn't be fair to you." She tells him and gets up, leaving some cash on the table.

"No, wait." He grabs her wrist and makes her sit down again. "I don't understand, Kate. Was it something I did? If it was, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Whatever it was, we can get past it. Forgive me." She closes her eyes for a moment, trying to think of the right words.

"No, Josh. It was something _I _did. My heart is just not in the right place to be in a relationship right now." _With you_, she adds in her mind. "I don't want to hurt you and if we keep seeing each other that is inevitably going to happen and I don't want that. You're such a nice guy, Josh, I'm sure you'll find someone who will want the same things you do." She says and he nods sadly.

"There's nothing I can do to change your mind?" he asks her with a sad smile.

She shakes her head. "I'm really sorry." She stands up and this time he lets her. She leans down and kisses his cheek. "Take care of yourself."

Kate walks out of the restaurant and opens the door to her car. When she is settled behind the wheel and with her seat belt on, she lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. It feels like the weight of the world has been lifted from her shoulders and she feels so relieved this is finally over. The guilt had been eating her alive, but now… God, now she can be with whom she really wants to be and she can't wait to be in his arms again.

Before driving back to the precinct, she fishes her phone out of her pocket and texts him quickly, a happy smile on her lips.

_We're free._

_

* * *

_**Thoughts?**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Well, this is it, guys. Final chapter. I really wanted to take the time to thank everyone who has read this story. Really, I've never written a story that was so accepted and embraced by the fandom. I'm incredibly happy that you all have seemed to enjoy it as much as I have. Because of this story, I met a lot of great people and it made me improve so much as a writer.**

**Thank you, thank you, thank you. It has been one hell of a ride. Thanks for sticking with me until the end.**

**Disclaimer: Castle is still not mine, sadly.**

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**Touch**

**Chapter 14**

After she leaves Josh at the restaurant, Kate returns to the precinct to finish her shift. The hours seem to drag by, and every time she looks at the clock, thinking it's time to go home, ten minutes have barely passed. She can't wait to go to him and, to be honest, she feels so giddy and excited that she might as well be a teenager again. The butterflies are making a riot in her stomach and she hasn't even seen him yet. If she is feeling like this while they are apart, she absolutely can't wait to see what is going to happen when they are finally together.

She feels bad for hurting Josh's feelings, but all things considered, she doesn't think she did a bad job at letting him go. Thank God she was able to go through with it today because she thinks she would not be able to handle another day without being with Castle. One more day and she would spontaneously combust, she is absolutely sure.

She texted him when she left the restaurant and he texted her back saying he would see her tonight, but they haven't talked since. She is hoping and praying that no bodies drop until at least tomorrow morning. Nothing and no one is going to get in their way tonight.

When 6 o'clock finally rolls around, it's all she can do to not run out of the precinct. She gathers her coat and purse and walks calmly to her car. The drive to her apartment seems to be excruciatingly long during the rush hour and forty minutes have passed when she finally enters her apartment. Dropping her keys and purse on the coffee table, she makes her way to the bathroom to take a quick shower. When she is standing in front of her wardrobe, with a towel wrapped around her body, trying to decide what to wear, she can't help but laugh at herself. If someone had told her two weeks ago that tonight she would be fretting about what to wear on a date with Richard Castle, she would have laughed in their face.

But here she is. She can't decide what to wear and she's nervous as hell. This is ridiculous, she thinks, grabbing a pair of jeans and a dark green shirt. After she has put them on, she looks around the room, trying to find her favorite pair of boots. When she locates them, she sits on her bed to put them on, but her phone rings, interrupting her.

_Please, God, not a body._

"Beckett." She answers, while putting the boots on.

"Why, hello, detective." She can hear the teasing smile in his voice.

"Hello, Mr. Castle." She grins to herself. "What can I do for you?"

"Just wondering what you wanted for dinner tonight." He says while she works on her make up.

"Would it be really cliché if I said I want you?" she teases him and her skin breaks out in goose bumps when she hears his low chuckle.

"Not at all, Kate. Not at all." He tells her and she laughs. "Too bad we're going to have company tonight."

"Oh." She can't hide her disappointment. So much for skipping dinner and going straight for the dessert then, she thinks, with a sigh.

"Just for dinner. Alexis is going out with Ashley and Mother apparently has a date. We'll have the loft to ourselves. At least for a little while."

"Thank God." She lets out a breath, relieved and he laughs.

"Can't wait to get me naked, can you, detective?" he teases her she rolls her eyes.

"Shut up, Castle." She laughs, blushing a little. "Should I bring anything? Maybe dessert?"

"_You_'re going to be the dessert, Kate." He all but growls into the phone and she bites her lip to prevent a moan at his words. God, he is driving her _crazy!_

"Stop teasing me, Rick. I won't be held responsible for my actions if you keep doing that, you know?" she tells him and he chuckles. Now that they are both free to be together, they seem to have gotten even bolder with their flirting.

"You know, I really like this new side of you." he quips and she rolls her eyes, smiling.

"Dessert, Castle? The kind your family can also enjoy? Do you need me to bring any?" she reminds him.

"Whatever you want to bring is fine, Kate. We're not picky. As long as you're here."

"Okay, I'm almost ready to go. I'll see you soon."

"See you soon, love." He tells her and hangs up.

She stares at her reflection in the mirror for a moment, his words still running through her mind.

_Love._

It's not the first time he has called her that, but it still gives her that sense of excitement while terrifying her at the same time. They haven't talked about this yet and she is sure they won't for a while. It's still so new, so fresh, that she feels that if they bring that into the relationship right now, things will start going wrong. It's ridiculous and doesn't make any sense, but that's how she feels.

She knows she loves him. She knows she's in so deep that she might never find her way out again. But she doesn't care. The fact that she has acknowledged and accepted that she is in love with Richard Castle is already a huge step for her. For now, she can show him how she feels with her actions. She has never been very good with words, anyway.

Rick, on the other hand, has his subtle ways of telling her how he feels. Calling her love is only one of them. Baby steps, she thinks, that's how they are going to make this work.

Checking the mirror one last time, she deems herself acceptable to have dinner with her… whatever Castle is to her. They really have to talk about this. How is she supposed to introduce him to people in non-professional circumstances?

With that in mind, she grabs her coat, purse and keys and heads out.

* * *

She fidgets with her clothes and runs a hand through her hair, trying to fix the mess that the New York City wind left behind. Now that she is standing at his door, that nervousness is back and she thinks her hands are shaking slightly. This is it. This is where everything changes,_ right now_. God, if this doesn't work between them, she can kiss this partnership goodbye because there is no way they can go back to how things were before.

Steeling herself with a deep breath, she reaches out and rings the doorbell. Well, here goes nothing, she thinks as the door swings open. And just like that, her insecurities fly out the window because he is standing there with such a big smile, that it's impossible for her not to smile back.

He takes the ice cream container and brownie from her hands and welcomes her inside. She takes off her coat and hangs in the closet where he pointed her to. When she turns back to him, he is busy putting the dessert on the fridge. She walks over to him and stops right behind him, waiting for him to turn to her.

"I know you're checking me out, detective. No need to play coy now." He teases her and turns around.

"Don't flatter yourself, Castle."

She grins at him as he pulls her close. Brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear, he leans in and captures her bottom lip with his. She immediately deepens the kiss, giving him access to explore her mouth with his tongue. She can't get enough of this. It was all she could think about all day.

"Hi." He whispers, resting his forehead against hers. She smiles at him and reaches for his hand, lacing her fingers through his.

"Hi." She whispers back and leans in for one more kiss. "Never thought I'd say this one day, but I've missed you." She grins and he shakes his head with a laugh.

"We should've gotten this on camera! No one is going to believe me when I tell them." He says excitedly, but she shuts him up with a kiss.

"Don't let it go to your head, Castle." She tells him with a teasing smile. He smiles back and pulls her back in for another kiss.

"Well, isn't this wonderful?" an excited voice exclaims behind them. They break apart reluctantly, only to find an overjoyed Martha smiling at them. "I say it's about time, kids."

Kate feels the heat creeping up her neck and she is sure she is blushing violently.

"Mother, a little privacy, please?" Rick says, narrowing his eyes at his mom.

"Nonsense, dear." She waves at him, dismissively. "Kate, sweetheart, there is no need to be embarrassed. I'm so happy for you two, really."

"Thank you, Martha." She says quietly, still blushing.

"Where is Alexis?" Rick asks, trying to change the subject and Kate is ever so grateful for it.

"Finishing her homework, I suppose. That or talking to Ashley on the phone. I swear I don't know how those two don't get sick of each other, the amount of time they spend together." Martha shakes her head. "Ah, there she is now. Alexis, darling, you'll never believe what I found in the kitchen!" she says and walks over to the stairs to meet her granddaughter. Kate thinks her face is about to burst into flames.

"Don't let it get to you. You know how my mother has a flair for dramatic." Rick whispers in her ear and she nods, willing her blush to subside. "Want to help me finish dinner here?"

"Sure, what can I do?" she squeezes his hand, grateful for the distraction.

She had completely forgotten that his family didn't know about them. Well, at least that part is over with, she thinks, working on a salad.

* * *

Dinner goes relatively well, if you count Alexis gushing about Kate and her dad being together and how she totally knew something had happened between them. Between that and Martha's knowing looks whenever she looked at them, Kate lost count of how many times she blushed at the table.

Around 8:30, Alexis announces she's late for her date with Ashley, which cues Martha's exit as well. When they are finally alone, Kate offers to take the dishes to the kitchen. Rick follows her and opens a bottle of wine, serving two glasses. She accepts hers and takes a sip, savoring the taste of good wine and the fact that they are finally alone for the first time that day.

"So how did it go with Josh?" he asks, trying to sound casual.

She hops onto the counter and smiles at him. "Better than I expected, actually."

"Yeah?" he walks over to her, stopping between her legs. Setting his glass on the counter, he gently caresses her thighs.

She closes her eyes for a moment, his touch sending a shiver through her.

"Yes, he took it surprisingly well." She breathes as he starts placing light kisses on her neck.

"Good, now I can have you all to myself." He grins against her neck and she tilts her head to the side, giving him more access.

She enjoys the feeling for a couple of minutes, and then wraps her arms around his neck, blindingly searching his lips with hers. They crash together in a tangle of lips, tongues and teeth and she feels him pulling her closer to him, to the point that their bodies are pressed tightly against one another. Rick slowly slips his hand underneath her shirt, gently touching her warm skin. She shivers under his touch and breaks their kiss to attack his neck, grinning when she hears him let out a low moan at her ministrations.

His hands explore her body further, as he reaches her breasts and gently runs his thumb over her nipples, her shirt rising up higher and higher, to the point that Rick breaks their contact only to take her shirt off. Dropping it on the counter, he resumes his activity, now kissing and sucking her nipples through the fabric of her bra. Kate throws her head back as a wave of pleasure runs through her and she can't prevent the moan that escapes her lips.

"Rick." She gasps.

"What?" he mumbles, now sucking on her neck.

"We can't stay here. What if someone walks in on us?" She says breathlessly. He has just unbuttoned her jeans and his hand is slowly slipping inside her panties. "Baby, come on." She says touching his arm. Rick stops and looks at her, his pupils dilated with raw desire. She kisses his lips gently and gets down from the counter.

"I so wanted to have you here. Right here on the counter." He growls into her ear, hugging her from behind. She feels his hardness against her thigh and her need for him triples. She laughs quietly and reaches for her shirt.

"We can make it happen. Just not tonight." She says turning around to kiss him.

She just can't stay away from him. It is like a magnetic force is pulling her to him constantly. He kisses her deeply, exploring her mouth with his tongue and she feels like her body is on fire. She moans into the kiss and can't help but tug at his shirt and quickly take it off, breaking the kiss for just a second. She throws it down on the floor and kisses him again.

He breaks the kiss after a moment and looks at her, only to find that her eyes mirror his lust. He needs her and he needs her now.

"Come on." He picks her up, her legs encircling his waist and resumes their kiss. He makes his way up the stairs and to his room blindly as she attacks his neck, sucking on it mercilessly. She is driving him crazy and she knows it.

He opens the door to his room and carries her inside, locking the door behind them. Laying her down on his bed, he takes his time just running his hands down her body, watching her reaction to it. When he has her trembling with need, he unzips her jeans and slowly pulls it off along with her boots, gently touching her skin along the way, and smiles when she breaks out in goose bumps.

"Rick." She moans. He throws her jeans on the floor and turns his attention to her black lace panties. Pressing his hand against her hot center, he grins again when she squirms impatiently under him, bucking her hips into his hand.

He leans down and kisses her stomach and slowly but surely makes his way down until he reaches her panties. Taking it off with his teeth, he enjoys how impatient she is getting. He throws them down on the floor and gently kisses the inside of her thighs. She moans again and he decides to stop teasing her, by slipping two fingers inside of her and kissing her sensitive nub. She gasps and arches her hips, her hands pulling on his hair.

"Rick, please." She moans again, his fingers working in and out of her. He looks at her and she is thrashing her head around, her hands now pulling on the sheets. "I need you." She breathes. "Right now. Inside. Please." He starts looking for the condom in his pocket when she stops him. "Don't worry, I'm on the pill."

He obliges her wish and quickly takes off his pants, joining her on the bed. Sucking on her nipples again, he enjoys the groan of pleasure she lets out and quickly unhooks her bra, throwing it somewhere behind him. He kisses her again, softly, his erection pressed against her skin. She reaches out and grabs his hard shaft, squeezing it gently, making him groan in pleasure. She runs her fingers lightly along the length of it, enjoying him moaning against her neck. As much as she wants him, she wants to torture him a bit first.

"Kate, please." He moans when she squeezes him again. "I need to be inside you now, love, please." He begs, kissing her lips again. She lets him go and he pushes inside of her hard, making her cry out in a mix of pleasure and pain.

She arches her hips and meets his thrusts, building a rhythm that has both on edge soon. He changes their positions so she is suddenly on top. She opens her eyes and locks her gaze with his, his hands on her hips, bouncing her up and down. He feels her walls tightening around him and watches as her climax hits her, when she throws her head back and cries out, triggering his own release.

Breathless, she collapses on top of him, her strength gone. He showers her face with kisses as their heart rate slowly gets back to normal. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, he kisses her nose softly.

"Wow." She says, still breathless.

"I hope that's a good wow." He says with a chuckle and she kisses his chest.

"Hell, yes! Why did we wait so long to do that?" she asks him, her chin resting on his chest.

"I've been telling you since day one how awesome we would be together. Took you long enough to finally realize it." He teases her and she slaps his arm playfully.

"Shut up, Castle." She says and leans in to place a quick peck on his lips. He holds her in place and deepens the kiss, one of his hands trailing down her back to press her hips against his. She feels him stirring against her and grins into the kiss. "Already?" she smiles at him teasingly.

"What can I say, that's the effect you have on me, detective." He tells her with a grin. "Now that I got you, I won't let you out of this bed." He says against her lips, making her grin back.

"Should I be scared?" she teases, sucking on his bottom lip. He grabs her hips, lifting her up just enough for him to enter her swiftly.

She lets out a moan and he silences her with a kiss.

"Only if you think you can't handle this." He growls into her ear as she rocks her hips against him. She is already seeing colored spots in front of her eyes, pleasure running like a storm through her body.

"Bring it on, Castle." She challenges him and he flips them over, thrusting into her with renewed energy. She can vaguely hear herself moaning and would be slightly embarrassed if it didn't feel _so damn good._

Later, she is almost falling asleep when she feels him slipping out of bed. She reaches out to him and touches his arm.

"Where are you going?" she asks sleepily.

"I heard the door downstairs; I'm just going to check if it's Alexis." He leans down and kisses her lips softly. "Go to sleep. I'll be right back, I promise."

"Okay." She says and feels him pulling the comforter over her, before leaning down to kiss her forehead.

She closes her eyes and snuggles further into his bed, enjoying his scent all around her. With a sigh, she marvels at the fact that only a few days ago they didn't even think a relationship was possible between them, and now look how far they have come.

_Amazing_, she thinks. Nothing short of amazing that one touch was all it took for all of this to happen. She sighs contently as she feels him slipping back into bed a few minutes later. He wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her closer to him, her back against his chest, and kisses her neck gently.

"Still awake?" he asks, nuzzling against her hair.

"Barely." She mumbles, turning around to hide her face in the crook of his neck. "Night, Rick." She says, drifting off.

"Night, love." She feels his lips brush against the top of her head and his arms hold her tighter against him.

As she allows sleep to take her under, the last thing she can think of is how glad she is they can finally be together with nothing to feel guilty about.

She sighs and kisses his neck softly.

Nothing can stop them now.

_THE END_

* * *

**Again, thank you so much. You guys are the best.**


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